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Trollheart · 02-24-2013, 07:58 PM

Something of a quiet one this week, with not too much in the way of updates. Here's what we have for you...

Yay! The Batlord is embarking on another kick-ass adventure! Check out his latest escapades here in http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...t-schemes.html --- but approach only if ye be true Metalheads, for his wrath towards poseurs is mighty and terrible!

Engine is still relating the story of Erik, Sergio and his family in http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...can-dream.html; go see what you're missing!

Goofle11 has a new album to review in http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...lbum-week.html : it's from Kings of Leon. Why not visit him and check it out?

Although it's long finished now, Janszoon's http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...e-all-die.html continues to garner praise and attention, showing why it was the obvious choice for winner of the Music Banter Award for Best Journal this year (fume, fume...) --- see what it's all about. You won't be disappointed.

And so back to me. I've been doing what updating I can, though truth to tell I'm more writing stuff to have in reserve at the moment than posting updates. But this week in http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...d-journal.html there's a review of one of the better post-Roger Hodgson albums from Supertramp and one from Simple Minds, and a section that's been delayed, uh, a year in the implementation! Oh well: better late than never.... Over at http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...i-reviews.html there are reviews of the new album from Lacuna Coil, as well as ones from Texas and a weird little EP from Theatres des Vampires.

Hasn't been too much happening on the Couch this week --- again, more writing than posting --- but I've managed to slot in the first episode of Spooks so head to http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...-emporium.html to check it out. Hope to get more updates in the coming week.

Which takes us, inevitably, to our old soldier friend, where he's http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...y-history.html with albums by Rick Derringer, Uriah Heep and a pile of albums that he says didn't quite make the cut. Do we assume 1974 is on the horizon soon?

So that's it for this week. Not, as I say, too much on the books but as Urban once put it, quality above quantity. Of course, I try to strive for both. Watch for new things happening very soon in my journal, and keep an eye on this thread: you never know when someone will suddenly post in a journal that hasn't been updated in yonks.

Till next Sunday then!
Toodles!

Trollheart · 03-03-2013, 04:33 PM

THERE'S A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN...

Ah-hoy hoy! Monty Burns here! It's time you people stopped being mollycoddled by that Trollheart fellow and heard what people REALLY think of your --- ahem -- journals! From now on there'll be some changes around here, as I'll be calling the shots. Excellent!

More of your blasted scrawlings and scribblings that are clogging up the Inter-Net thing and making it harder for me to read how my stocks and shares are doing! Don't you lollygaggers have anything better to do? What? We do? We are? BAH! Oh all right then, for those of you who simply must know, here is the kind of drivel your fellow members are spewing out, preventing me reaching the Wall Street Journal website in a timely manner. Bunch of ingrates! Spell in the army would do you all the --- what? Oh yes, my medication. You're quite right there, Smithers. What would I do without you.?

And the rest of you: get back to work! Oh no, wait, I didn't mean .... damn and blast it Smithers! They're UPDATING again!

Anteater (Anteater? What in blue blazes sort of name is that?) is still trying to get us all into his confounded smooth jazz via http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...ed-masses.html; never gonna work for me I have to say! But this week he has reviews from Kyoto Jazz Massive and Special EFX, so "check-them-out", as I'm reliably informed is the popular vernacular used these days, if that's your thing. Who knows? Maybe if it isn't he'll convert you... (not bloody likely...)

We've all been waiting for (What? I haven't been waiting for this juvenile, peurile drivel ... contract? What contract? Oh curse your eyes then, all right!) the, um, second instalment of the Batlord's latest crazy trip across time and space, and you'll find it in http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...t-schemes.html, so what are you waiting for? Begone, I say!

Ki's getting his journal back underway, (well whoop-di-doo! Sorry, sorry...) with reviews of albums by HIM, a look at his hometown of Seattle, and a more in-depth review of "Swedish hitz goes metal". Why are you still here? This http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...er-things.html is where you need to be!

And lo! PoorOldPo is back with us! Poor indeed! I bet he couldn't afford ONE limousine, let alone --- what? IRS? Er, no, I can't talk to you just now. Very busy.... Check his journal http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...ychedelia.html for a taste of Donovan and lots of other cool psychedlic music. Man.

(Come on: I'm meeting you lousy hippies halfway!)

Ah, some decent material at last! Excellent!

Trying to keep my --- er, that is to say, his --- journals updated, this is what I've come up with on http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...d-journal.html: A "rare" album by Asia, the new one from Kris Kristofferson (no, I'm not joking!) and another foray into lyrical heaven with "More than words". As for http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...-emporium.html? Well there's the fifth part of season one of Babylon 5, about halfway in now, and more from season one of Supernatural. Plenty more to come, of course. That hasn't left me any time to update "Bitesize" this week, but I'm stockpiling a lot of mini-reviews and there'll definitely be some updating done in the coming week.

1973 was a good year for hard rock, though I was more into the Mantovani sort of thing, you know. He gets a bad rap but ... ah, I digress. Like I say, a good year as you'll discover when you read the latest entries in http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...y-history.html, where Unknown Soldier has reviews of albums by, among others, Mott the Hoople, ZZ Top, New York Dolls and Iggy and the Stooges. There's also part two of his "In the shadow of Sabbath" article, looking at bands influenced by the godfathers of black metal. (Venom who?)

And Urban(Hatemonger, eh? Excellent! I like the cut of this fellow's gib!) drops in to tell us about his regard for Charlie Brooker. Seriously. He says "I love this man" eight times! Hmmm. Watch that one, Smithers. NO NOT LIKE THAT! Oh Hell and damnation! Why couldn't I have a STRAIGHT bootlicker? Sigh! Check out http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...nal-stuff.html to read it.

And that would normally be it, but we're lucky to be favoured this week with an entry from the lovely Vanilla, who is so impressed by new female "rapper", I believe is the term, Iggy Azalea that she appears to have taken her image as her new avatar! Not my thing, rap music, but don't let that stop you checking out her journal here http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...-eargasms.html. Ah, if only I were ninety years younger...

And so we come to the end of another update, and move on into a new month.... What? I'm not reading that out! I do? Oh hell and damnation! Very well then...

A note from Urban on getting your new journal approved or indeed on getting entries in your existing journal approved: "Please use common sense when posting Youtube videos. I have gone into two journals to approve posts and both times the number of Youtube posts in them caused my computer to freeze. If you're posting multiple videos please post them under a cut and please use your brain. Even if you're only posting one per post that's still 10, 20 or 30 depending on how many posts per page people are using.
This isn't a rule, this is a polite request so that a rule doesn't have to be made.
Thank you."

Wise words, and ones I've had to heed myself (Er, I mean ones Trollheart has had to heed!) and which made me -- I mean, him --- (prior to this) look at just how many videos I was trying to post at once. Don't do that any more! Not entirely sure what "under a cut" means: I think it means with SPOILER tags? Urban, if you're reading this maybe you could clarify? Anyway, as he says, use your noodle: don't overload a mod's computer. They're less likely to want to approve your journal if you do that. (I'm assuming using SPOILER tags removes the problem; if I'm wrong someone please set me straight). But expect a visit from my highly-paid lawyers if you do...

So, until next time, same place, same, er, place...
Toodles!
Smithers! They're just standing there! Release the hounds...

**Scarlett O'Hara** · 03-03-2013, 07:20 PM

You're kick ass Trollheart. Thanks for updating this all the time.

Trollheart · 03-03-2013, 07:51 PM

Ah, Trollheart has been let go, young lady, in the midst of massive layoffs. And by massive I mean total. I'M running the show now, and by jove we'll get things running properly around here or my name isn't Charles Montgomery Burnzzzzzzzzz..... smithers? coffee... quickly....

The Batlord · 03-04-2013, 11:27 AM

Yeah, I have no idea what "under a cut" means either. Anyway I think I'm gonna have to start updating more than once every seven days, since this new bit'd take like two months to post that way.

Plankton · 03-04-2013, 11:32 AM

Sometimes the update is more entertaining than the journal.

Not fair Monty, not fair at all.

Trollheart · 03-10-2013, 07:28 PM

ATTENTION WORKERS! STAND BY FOR AN ANNOUNCEMENT FROM MISTER BURNS. DO NOT STOP WORKING DURING THIS ANNOUNCEMENT. ESPECIALLY YOU, UNKNOWN SOLDIER! THAT IS ALL.

Ah-hoy-hoy! Monty Burns here again, but you can call me Mister Burns! I want to make it clear to each and every one of you, this simply is not good enough! This is an organisation and everyone is expected to play his part. What? Seriously? Legal action, eh? Oh very well then -- or HER part. For the love of Peter! Anyway, there has been far too much slacking in recent months here and I intend to set this straight! A small handful of people cannot keep a company afloat, so I want to see more effort people! I know for a fact that Trollheart fellow has months of material stacked up, written just waiting to be uploaded, and the only reason he doesn't update every hour is because he's afriad of upsetting the poor mod-er-ators!

Oh boo hoo! You poor "mods", as I believe you wish to call yourselves (though personally I prefer the term "enforcers" --- yes, yes, much better, and more descriptive of your duties) might have to do a little work! For the love of Satan, people! This is not a holiday camp! What do you think I pay you for? What? I don't pay you? Well, good. That mansion on the hill doesn't run itself, you know, and the guards who patrol my grounds and keep the likes of you out don't work for free! I NEED my money. ALL of it. I mean, come ON! WHO can exist on a mere million a week? I'm practically living on the breadline!

So, more effort from you organbanks please, or I'll be going around poking you all with a sharp stick until you come up with the goods. Now, as for your current attempts at doodling in crayon in your so-called journals, in a pathetic attempt to impress your fellow inmates --- members, I mean. Did I say inmates? I meant members. Of course. Members. Not inmates. No. This is not a prison. Not at all. That guard tower and those high walls are there for YOUR protection. Yes. Indeed.

Well, glad we got all that sorted. Now, let's see what you slugabeds have been amusing yourselves with in the past week, shall we...

Ah yes. The Batlord. Look, there's only one lord of bats around here, and that's me. If you want to contest the title, I suggest a round-the-world balloon race, to start from London's Trafalgar Square and to return here not less than ... what? Money you say? Well, I'm always partial to a bit of bribery, er, persuasion! Very well then, you may keep the title. Oh blast it! Do I have to talk about your hell-damned journal too? Very well then: another episode of --- what's that? I'm not reading that! The lay of what? Surely that's illegal? Harrumph! You know the sort of thing to expect from the Batlord (TM: Approved by BurnsCo Legal, Attorneys-at-Law) by now, so why not just go to http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...t-schemes.html and laugh yourself silly! Ah yes, laughter: I remember that!

Big Ears? Is someone trying to --- oh I see! NOT me. Someone else. All righty then. This particular pencil jockey has his journal here and apparently he's http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...s-journal.html --- aha I get it! Most droll, most droll! In his latest godforsaken attempt at writing he appears to be warning people about some wild animal ... it bites eh? Well, I'd put it to sleep... what? Oh yes, the animal too, I suppose ... oh, how embarrassing! Silly me! It's the name of a band, I see! Just a moment! Isn't this the album being fought over by those geeks at the Prog Rock Album Club? It is? Isn't that against the rules? No? Well, it should be. Waste of time if you ask me ... anyhoo, you can check out that review in his journal, unless you've something better to do, like scrape the mildew off your bathroom tiles...

And we have a new victi --- ah, I mean recruit in the shape of Kelli, who has begun her journal http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...e-journal.html --- ah, yes: glad to see you're taking this seriously, young lady! Give it time I suppose. She already has reviews of albums by some gang called Foxygen and another called My Blasted Valentine --- oh sorry, My BLOODY Valentine. Charming. Well, always glad to welcome a new soul aboard: I need all the souls I can get! Satan doesn't give up easily you know: how do you think I've lived this long? Ah, yes, er, forget that ... moving swiftly along...

Ki is back with entries in his imaginatively titled http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...er-things.html --- not too much creative brainpower going on there, hmm? He's running a new series called "Flashback", worth reading (it says here) and featuring bands he used to be into and which remind him of his youth. Ah yes! Nobody could rock like Al Jolson, if you ask me!

And another new journal from Maidahl, with yet another stunning title! People, people! Take a leaf out of that fellow Janszoon's book! Really! At any rate, in his, her or its scrawlpad http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...s-journal.html there are only some scribbled comments for now, but I'm expecting --- demanding! --- better things, and pretty damn sharpish too.

http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...ychedelia.html is the journal of the oddly-named PoorOldPo --- don't believe a word of it! I've seen his bank balance! He could buy and sell most of you. Well, all of you. Except me of course. Anyhoo, he's bleating on about some Spacemen 3, Spiritualised and Sonic Boom. Who are these people? This world today, I don't know, standards....

Coming out of the mists of time is Roemica, who hasn't updated their journal http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...en-albums.html since 2009, and is now intending on resurrecting it. Hmm. Watch this space. All major credit cards accepted, you know...

Gaah! Even Trollheart has been slacking off! What? I don't CARE if he has three journals to maintain! Nobody forced him to do that, did they? Well, not in any way that could be proven in a court of law, that is... I suppose you have to give him some kudos, as he's started a new section in http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...d-journal.html called "Jumping on the Bandwagon?" where he looks at actors and the like who have crossed over into the field of music, taking that nice David Soul chap as his first example. Ah, another soul for Satan. What? Didn't say a thing! You must need your hearing checked, my friend... Oh and of course with Saint Patrick's Day only around the corner he has to go all Irish and review an album by Clannad! Heaven forfend! In his other journal, that http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...i-reviews.html thing, he's reviewing albums by RoySeven and those nice Bon Jovi fellows. Excellent!

And finally, on http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...-emporium.html (you know, I think he just runs three journals in order to have the most attention devoted to him on this update! Narcissist!

) he's started writing about that splendid Irish show about a jolly gangster gang, "Love/Hate" I believe they call it. Now those are my kind of people!

So on we go to Unknown Soldier, still http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...y-history.html and now making his way into 1974 with reviews of albums by Deep Purple and ... what? That's IT? I'm shocked! No more cafeteria food for you, sir, until you come up with the goods! Terrible, the things I have to put up with...

Well, that's it then for this week. Remember, we don't carry passengers here --- what? Yes I KNOW I also own Burns Coach Trips International Plc, and that they OBVIOUSLY do carry passengers, Smithers --- what? I TOLD you NOT to mention the DRUGS! You stupid --- ahhhh that's it for now, foodbags. Now just stand here on this spot. No, not that one. Move slightly to the left --- AHA!

What? Smithers! WHO moved the trapdoor AGAIN? I see. Well, I did want the floor retiled, that's true. I just WISH people would put things back the way they were when they finish. Sigh. What? Oh yes, very well --- release the hounds.
Toodles!

Key · 03-11-2013, 09:03 AM

^ I come for the updates, but I stay for the Trollheart
:P

The Batlord · 03-11-2013, 11:47 AM

I stay for the updates, but I cum for Trollheart.

Trollheart · 03-11-2013, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord

I stay for the updates, but I cum for Trollheart.

Can I just say, eeew!?

02-24-2013, 07:58 PM	#261 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,994	Something of a quiet one this week, with not too much in the way of updates. Here's what we have for you... Yay! The Batlord is embarking on another kick-ass adventure! Check out his latest escapades here in http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...t-schemes.html --- but approach only if ye be true Metalheads, for his wrath towards poseurs is mighty and terrible! Engine is still relating the story of Erik, Sergio and his family in http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...can-dream.html; go see what you're missing! Goofle11 has a new album to review in http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...lbum-week.html : it's from Kings of Leon. Why not visit him and check it out? Although it's long finished now, Janszoon's http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...e-all-die.html continues to garner praise and attention, showing why it was the obvious choice for winner of the Music Banter Award for Best Journal this year (fume, fume...) --- see what it's all about. You won't be disappointed. And so back to me. I've been doing what updating I can, though truth to tell I'm more writing stuff to have in reserve at the moment than posting updates. But this week in http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...d-journal.html there's a review of one of the better post-Roger Hodgson albums from Supertramp and one from Simple Minds, and a section that's been delayed, uh, a year in the implementation! Oh well: better late than never.... Over at http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...i-reviews.html there are reviews of the new album from Lacuna Coil, as well as ones from Texas and a weird little EP from Theatres des Vampires. Hasn't been too much happening on the Couch this week --- again, more writing than posting --- but I've managed to slot in the first episode of Spooks so head to http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...-emporium.html to check it out. Hope to get more updates in the coming week. Which takes us, inevitably, to our old soldier friend, where he's http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...y-history.html with albums by Rick Derringer, Uriah Heep and a pile of albums that he says didn't quite make the cut. Do we assume 1974 is on the horizon soon? So that's it for this week. Not, as I say, too much on the books but as Urban once put it, quality above quantity. Of course, I try to strive for both. Watch for new things happening very soon in my journal, and keep an eye on this thread: you never know when someone will suddenly post in a journal that hasn't been updated in yonks. Till next Sunday then! Toodles! __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

03-03-2013, 04:33 PM	#262 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,994	The Music Journal weekly update post, w/e March 3 2013 THERE'S A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN... Ah-hoy hoy! Monty Burns here! It's time you people stopped being mollycoddled by that Trollheart fellow and heard what people REALLY think of your --- ahem -- journals! From now on there'll be some changes around here, as I'll be calling the shots. Excellent! More of your blasted scrawlings and scribblings that are clogging up the Inter-Net thing and making it harder for me to read how my stocks and shares are doing! Don't you lollygaggers have anything better to do? What? We do? We are? BAH! Oh all right then, for those of you who simply must know, here is the kind of drivel your fellow members are spewing out, preventing me reaching the Wall Street Journal website in a timely manner. Bunch of ingrates! Spell in the army would do you all the --- what? Oh yes, my medication. You're quite right there, Smithers. What would I do without you.? And the rest of you: get back to work! Oh no, wait, I didn't mean .... damn and blast it Smithers! They're UPDATING again! Anteater (Anteater? What in blue blazes sort of name is that?) is still trying to get us all into his confounded smooth jazz via http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...ed-masses.html; never gonna work for me I have to say! But this week he has reviews from Kyoto Jazz Massive and Special EFX, so "check-them-out", as I'm reliably informed is the popular vernacular used these days, if that's your thing. Who knows? Maybe if it isn't he'll convert you... (not bloody likely...) We've all been waiting for (What? I haven't been waiting for this juvenile, peurile drivel ... contract? What contract? Oh curse your eyes then, all right!) the, um, second instalment of the Batlord's latest crazy trip across time and space, and you'll find it in http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...t-schemes.html, so what are you waiting for? Begone, I say! Ki's getting his journal back underway, (well whoop-di-doo! Sorry, sorry...) with reviews of albums by HIM, a look at his hometown of Seattle, and a more in-depth review of "Swedish hitz goes metal". Why are you still here? This http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...er-things.html is where you need to be! And lo! PoorOldPo is back with us! Poor indeed! I bet he couldn't afford ONE limousine, let alone --- what? IRS? Er, no, I can't talk to you just now. Very busy.... Check his journal http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...ychedelia.html for a taste of Donovan and lots of other cool psychedlic music. Man. (Come on: I'm meeting you lousy hippies halfway!) Ah, some decent material at last! Excellent! Trying to keep my --- er, that is to say, his --- journals updated, this is what I've come up with on http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...d-journal.html: A "rare" album by Asia, the new one from Kris Kristofferson (no, I'm not joking!) and another foray into lyrical heaven with "More than words". As for http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...-emporium.html? Well there's the fifth part of season one of Babylon 5, about halfway in now, and more from season one of Supernatural. Plenty more to come, of course. That hasn't left me any time to update "Bitesize" this week, but I'm stockpiling a lot of mini-reviews and there'll definitely be some updating done in the coming week. 1973 was a good year for hard rock, though I was more into the Mantovani sort of thing, you know. He gets a bad rap but ... ah, I digress. Like I say, a good year as you'll discover when you read the latest entries in http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...y-history.html, where Unknown Soldier has reviews of albums by, among others, Mott the Hoople, ZZ Top, New York Dolls and Iggy and the Stooges. There's also part two of his "In the shadow of Sabbath" article, looking at bands influenced by the godfathers of black metal. (Venom who?) And Urban(Hatemonger, eh? Excellent! I like the cut of this fellow's gib!) drops in to tell us about his regard for Charlie Brooker. Seriously. He says "I love this man" eight times! Hmmm. Watch that one, Smithers. NO NOT LIKE THAT! Oh Hell and damnation! Why couldn't I have a STRAIGHT bootlicker? Sigh! Check out http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...nal-stuff.html to read it. And that would normally be it, but we're lucky to be favoured this week with an entry from the lovely Vanilla, who is so impressed by new female "rapper", I believe is the term, Iggy Azalea that she appears to have taken her image as her new avatar! Not my thing, rap music, but don't let that stop you checking out her journal here http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...-eargasms.html. Ah, if only I were ninety years younger... And so we come to the end of another update, and move on into a new month.... What? I'm not reading that out! I do? Oh hell and damnation! Very well then... A note from Urban on getting your new journal approved or indeed on getting entries in your existing journal approved: "Please use common sense when posting Youtube videos. I have gone into two journals to approve posts and both times the number of Youtube posts in them caused my computer to freeze. If you're posting multiple videos please post them under a cut and please use your brain. Even if you're only posting one per post that's still 10, 20 or 30 depending on how many posts per page people are using. This isn't a rule, this is a polite request so that a rule doesn't have to be made. Thank you." Wise words, and ones I've had to heed myself (Er, I mean ones Trollheart has had to heed!) and which made me -- I mean, him --- (prior to this) look at just how many videos I was trying to post at once. Don't do that any more! Not entirely sure what "under a cut" means: I think it means with SPOILER tags? Urban, if you're reading this maybe you could clarify? Anyway, as he says, use your noodle: don't overload a mod's computer. They're less likely to want to approve your journal if you do that. (I'm assuming using SPOILER tags removes the problem; if I'm wrong someone please set me straight). But expect a visit from my highly-paid lawyers if you do... So, until next time, same place, same, er, place... Toodles! Smithers! They're just standing there! Release the hounds... __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

03-03-2013, 07:20 PM	#263 (permalink)
Scarlett O'Hara Make it so Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 6,181	You're kick ass Trollheart. Thanks for updating this all the time. __________________ "Elph is truly an enfant terrible of the forum, bless and curse him" - Marie, Queen of Thots

03-03-2013, 07:51 PM	#264 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,994	Ah, Trollheart has been let go, young lady, in the midst of massive layoffs. And by massive I mean total. I'M running the show now, and by jove we'll get things running properly around here or my name isn't Charles Montgomery Burnzzzzzzzzz..... smithers? coffee... quickly.... __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

03-04-2013, 11:32 AM	#266 (permalink)
Plankton Just Keep Swimming... Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: See signature... Posts: 7,765	Sometimes the update is more entertaining than the journal. Not fair Monty, not fair at all. __________________ See location...

03-10-2013, 07:28 PM	#267 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,994	The Music Journals Weekly Update Post, w/e March 10 2013 *ATTENTION WORKERS! STAND BY FOR AN ANNOUNCEMENT FROM MISTER BURNS. DO NOT STOP WORKING DURING THIS ANNOUNCEMENT. ESPECIALLY YOU, UNKNOWN SOLDIER! THAT IS ALL.* Ah-hoy-hoy! Monty Burns here again, but you can call me Mister Burns! I want to make it clear to each and every one of you, this simply is not good enough! This is an organisation and everyone is expected to play his part. What? Seriously? Legal action, eh? Oh very well then -- or HER part. For the love of Peter! Anyway, there has been far too much slacking in recent months here and I intend to set this straight! A small handful of people cannot keep a company afloat, so I want to see more effort people! I know for a fact that Trollheart fellow has months of material stacked up, written just waiting to be uploaded, and the only reason he doesn't update every hour is because he's afriad of upsetting the poor mod-er-ators! Oh boo hoo! You poor "mods", as I believe you wish to call yourselves (though personally I prefer the term "enforcers" --- yes, yes, much better, and more descriptive of your duties) might have to do a little work! For the love of Satan, people! This is not a holiday camp! What do you think I pay you for? What? I don't pay you? Well, good. That mansion on the hill doesn't run itself, you know, and the guards who patrol my grounds and keep the likes of you out don't work for free! I NEED my money. ALL of it. I mean, come ON! WHO can exist on a mere million a week? I'm practically living on the breadline! So, more effort from you organbanks please, or I'll be going around poking you all with a sharp stick until you come up with the goods. Now, as for your current attempts at doodling in crayon in your so-called journals, in a pathetic attempt to impress your fellow inmates --- members, I mean. Did I say inmates? I meant members. Of course. Members. Not inmates. No. This is not a prison. Not at all. That guard tower and those high walls are there for YOUR protection. Yes. Indeed. Well, glad we got all that sorted. Now, let's see what you slugabeds have been amusing yourselves with in the past week, shall we... Ah yes. The Batlord. Look, there's only one lord of bats around here, and that's me. If you want to contest the title, I suggest a round-the-world balloon race, to start from London's Trafalgar Square and to return here not less than ... what? Money you say? Well, I'm always partial to a bit of bribery, er, persuasion! Very well then, you may keep the title. Oh blast it! Do I have to talk about your hell-damned journal too? Very well then: another episode of --- what's that? I'm not reading that! The lay of what? Surely that's illegal? Harrumph! You know the sort of thing to expect from the Batlord (TM: Approved by BurnsCo Legal, Attorneys-at-Law) by now, so why not just go to http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...t-schemes.html and laugh yourself silly! Ah yes, laughter: I remember that! Big Ears? Is someone trying to --- oh I see! NOT me. Someone else. All righty then. This particular pencil jockey has his journal here and apparently he's http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...s-journal.html --- aha I get it! Most droll, most droll! In his latest godforsaken attempt at writing he appears to be warning people about some wild animal ... it bites eh? Well, I'd put it to sleep... what? Oh yes, the animal too, I suppose ... oh, how embarrassing! Silly me! It's the name of a band, I see! Just a moment! Isn't this the album being fought over by those geeks at the Prog Rock Album Club? It is? Isn't that against the rules? No? Well, it should be. Waste of time if you ask me ... anyhoo, you can check out that review in his journal, unless you've something better to do, like scrape the mildew off your bathroom tiles... And we have a new victi --- ah, I mean recruit in the shape of Kelli, who has begun her journal http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...e-journal.html --- ah, yes: glad to see you're taking this seriously, young lady! Give it time I suppose. She already has reviews of albums by some gang called Foxygen and another called My Blasted Valentine --- oh sorry, My BLOODY Valentine. Charming. Well, always glad to welcome a new soul aboard: I need all the souls I can get! Satan doesn't give up easily you know: how do you think I've lived this long? Ah, yes, er, forget that ... moving swiftly along... Ki is back with entries in his imaginatively titled http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...er-things.html --- not too much creative brainpower going on there, hmm? He's running a new series called "Flashback", worth reading (it says here) and featuring bands he used to be into and which remind him of his youth. Ah yes! Nobody could rock like Al Jolson, if you ask me! And another new journal from Maidahl, with yet another stunning title! People, people! Take a leaf out of that fellow Janszoon's book! Really! At any rate, in his, her or its scrawlpad http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...s-journal.html there are only some scribbled comments for now, but I'm expecting --- demanding! --- better things, and pretty damn sharpish too. http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...ychedelia.html is the journal of the oddly-named PoorOldPo --- don't believe a word of it! I've seen his bank balance! He could buy and sell most of you. Well, all of you. Except me of course. Anyhoo, he's bleating on about some Spacemen 3, Spiritualised and Sonic Boom. Who are these people? This world today, I don't know, standards.... Coming out of the mists of time is Roemica, who hasn't updated their journal http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...en-albums.html since 2009, and is now intending on resurrecting it. Hmm. Watch this space. All major credit cards accepted, you know... Gaah! Even Trollheart has been slacking off! What? I don't CARE if he has three journals to maintain! Nobody forced him to do that, did they? Well, not in any way that could be proven in a court of law, that is... I suppose you have to give him some kudos, as he's started a new section in http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...d-journal.html called "Jumping on the Bandwagon?" where he looks at actors and the like who have crossed over into the field of music, taking that nice David Soul chap as his first example. Ah, another soul for Satan. What? Didn't say a thing! You must need your hearing checked, my friend... Oh and of course with Saint Patrick's Day only around the corner he has to go all Irish and review an album by Clannad! Heaven forfend! In his other journal, that http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...i-reviews.html thing, he's reviewing albums by RoySeven and those nice Bon Jovi fellows. Excellent! And finally, on http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...-emporium.html (you know, I think he just runs three journals in order to have the most attention devoted to him on this update! Narcissist! ) he's started writing about that splendid Irish show about a jolly gangster gang, "Love/Hate" I believe they call it. Now those are my kind of people! So on we go to Unknown Soldier, still http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...y-history.html and now making his way into 1974 with reviews of albums by Deep Purple and ... what? That's IT? I'm shocked! No more cafeteria food for you, sir, until you come up with the goods! Terrible, the things I have to put up with... Well, that's it then for this week. Remember, we don't carry passengers here --- what? Yes I KNOW I also own Burns Coach Trips International Plc, and that they OBVIOUSLY do carry passengers, Smithers --- what? I TOLD you NOT to mention the DRUGS! You stupid --- ahhhh that's it for now, foodbags. Now just stand here on this spot. No, not that one. Move slightly to the left --- AHA! What? Smithers! WHO moved the trapdoor AGAIN? I see. Well, I did want the floor retiled, that's true. I just WISH people would put things back the way they were when they finish. Sigh. What? Oh yes, very well --- release the hounds. Toodles! __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018 Last edited by Trollheart; 03-11-2013 at 07:10 AM.

03-11-2013, 09:03 AM	#268 (permalink)
Key . Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 13,153	^ I come for the updates, but I stay for the Trollheart :P