Diversify Your Vocabulary
 

A while ago I was taken aback by a young boy at the bowling alley. He couldn't have been older than 11. And he was shouting the usual profanities in the company of either his older brother or his parents. You know, "Fuck! Shit! Mother Fucker! God Damn it!".

Now, in a more reflective state of mind I would have let this go as I am no one to judge a child of his attitude because I was no different at his age. But I drink when I bowl and I was in the moment. I decided to help this boy.

I approached him after a rather fervent rash of cussing and suggested that instead of using words like "fuck" or "shit", he switch to terms like "Curses!" or "Blast!". And this invited a change in me as well. I decided to switch it up a little bit. After all, to me, cuss words have become far too easy.

Any fool can blast out with a heartfelt or raunchy, "Fuck!" when they do something clumsy, but to here somebody shout, "Drats!! Thwarted again!". You expect to find a man in a white lab coat and black rimmed glasses.

That's why I suggest that we all make a conscious effort to diversify the vocabulary that we regularly use. Not necessarily for the kids, fuck the kids. Just for us. Be imaginative! Have fun! That way, when you fuck up, you don't take it nearly as serious.

That is all.

I'll schrap you in your sleep you onion-eyed! Dogfish! Marien-pope!
For once an ounce of schrapping can leave one announced, be true!

this thread is conch-balls.

freedom of speech, wah?

conch-balls could be taken as a compliment ya know.

Be spurst villain, or I will be turned to use my gleaming canine!

Conch-Balls... I wonder if it's any correlation to The Lord of the Flies in which you could not speak unless you had the conch, except now you have to hold your balls in order to speak.

Here are some of my fav insults/exclamations:

Smeghead
Plonker
Barbara Streisand
Dunderhead
Wally
Tosspot
Berk
Muppet
Nitwit
Git
Twat
Prat
Munter
Fucking blowjob (so lame that there's actually no comeback for it)
Little bollocks

Gordon Bennett!
Sacre bleu!
By crikey!
Nom d'un chien!
Bloody hell!
Hells bells!
Feck!

All used a lot over here

reminds me of a thread i saw on another website

In this thread...... - Skateboard-City Forum

That's probably why I like them. :D

I usually just switch around the words. Examples:

Go suck yourself
What the sh.it?
This sucking fuc.ks

Sometimes it can be really funny.

this is something i found myself doing as i got older. feck became a default adjective / adverb to just about anything i was saying until i got out of school. thing is it diminishes the value and intensity of the word if you use it all the time. plus most employers frown on that sort of language.

I've also found myself replacing generic terms like "yeah", and "alright" with words like indeed, delightful, and capital.

Anyone else, or am I fornicated in the cranium?

I wasn't aware. What exactly does that mean?

i find that when i purposely mispronounce words, it opens up a whole new source of entertainment.

ex-paddle with a long a sound
right, pronouncing it as riggit, etc.

I like the phrase "Jerk Boots"

Actually I have no idea. It's half the lyrics to a friend's song.

"Have you ever heard the sound of the ocean?"
"CONCH-BALLS!"

^Yeah, these are all fairly commonplace around here. Even my mom calls us nigga sometimes. Douche bag, twat and tits have always been old stand-bys.

I'm thinking more along the lines of terms or phrases like:

"I demand satisfaction!"
"Do you yield, sir?"
"Blasphemy!"
"Confound it!"
"Treachery!"
"You ravenous scourge/twisted fiend."

But one cuss word that I've always liked but rarely ever gets used anymore is pig f*cker.

Pig F*ucker. It just kind of rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? Let's bring it back, shall we?

Whens the last time someone has said "DWEEB"?

hilarious thread and I cosign it. There is this girl that is always on vent and she comes up with the best made up curses I have ever heard. I can't even dare to repeat them. She just randomly comes up with crap and I don't even remember half of what she says.

Why thank you, and might I just add, "DAMN! THAT'S AN ASS!!"

Exactly what I do. I usually just make up words to sound like a hardass. This kid said I owed him money and I began to rant which sounded something like...
"Knave! Can't you percieve by your ineptuity that there ist a penneth in my pocket! Why the poor slanders on what ill will you have wished upon their unrelenting opressed corpses. Why do you ask such a feeble treat from my pouch??"

They usually just walk away. It works quite nicely actually.

EDIT: "Holy marmelade! What a splendicular piece of rubtuity!"

The only insult I use that is particularly original is dicknose. funny though.

dickcheese is where it's at

I prefer cheddar.

i think cocknose sounds better

I prefer cockfingers.

That's probably a menu item at KFC.

:laughing:

Rubtuity. Soft and gentle for the ladies. Hard and aggressive for... oh my, pardon my crass brazenness. I appeared to have soiled my pantaloons.

Ah, I believe I have ascertained my spiritual abode. I have been quite fatigued that my propensity towards sesquipedalian loquaciousness has been either studiously passed over for acknowledgment or outright caricatured at the educational facility that I inhabit on a daily basis. Now perhaps I can seek repose, I feel like intoxicating liquors have passed directly to my cranium.

Damn it, why don't I write romance novels if I'm talking like that?:crazy:

And as for the insults thing, I like to let off a good, hearty: "RAPIST!" Works every time. And someone mentioned the switching-around thing... heh. Real words of wisdom from me:

"This twatting place is bastarding boring!"

Oh my golly, Elephant Sack. We are long lost twins. I say words that havent been used in centuries, thats pretty much my trademark. I got a whole list of them that my friends and I have made. I write down some of the jewels that I hear so I can remember them and have them for future use. I need to dig around for it and give you a little sample.

what the shitdick.

i prefer shittit myself but both work :laughing:

they're great when used in conjunction with the noun siamesecock, as in;

"what the shitdick/shittit you siamesecock, i wanted those handball sneakers!"

Blimey.

A good "arsebiscuits" said with feeling works everytime

arsebiscuits is fantastic! i usually go for ****ing dimlo, what a word

and twat. always twat

air biscuit :L thats what we say here, essentially means a fart lmao!
disco biscuit, well .. 3 guesses :L