MoonlitSunshine

Beating a child is wrong. Physical Discipline is however a completely different thing to beating.

I know that when I was younger, I did things that I knew were wrong, because I was too young to understand the concept of right and wrong, or good and bad, etc. on a level that actually made a sense of morality kick in. My parents would tell me not to do something, and I would do it, and I would do it again, because I didn't understand that there were greater reasons than my own impulses to be considered. And I got smacked. Not often at all, in fact very rarely did it go that far, but I think that there are situations where it is a necessary form of discipline. It's not a fail-proof method, it's not a first resort, it's something that it used to ingrain "NO." into a child's head when it becomes clear that they are unable or unwilling to listen to reason.

I think it is something that is often taken too far by bad parents - it is definitely a last resort, and not one to default to on every occasion, but if you think that everything can be solved with words, then you haven't met enough children. I fully expect that there will be at least one or two times in life when I will have to have "an encounter" with my children. Not because I think that there's nothing like a good beating, or that they will deserve it for not listening to me. They'll probably be far too intelligent for their own good, and fully capable of understanding logical reasoning, but the chances are that there will be things that they disobey - eating biscuits from a jar repeatedly when i tell them not to, not cleaning up a mess, giving out if I assign them chores... I will do my best to raise them in such a way that they understand reason, but I will not raise my children to accept my rule without question, and personally, I believe that is the only way you could possibly avoid hitting your children, and hell, you'd probably have to do it at least a few times in the process of creating that mindset.

As regards to the "I turned out okay" - I got smacked a few times, once right across the face, when I was a bit older (I can't remember what I said, but I definitely deserved it), and I would consider myself confident, happy, and in hindsight, understanding of the reasons why I was hit. Stuff like the soap in the mouth I am completely against, as that amounts to torture, being paddled activates an instinctive reflex to avoid pain without any long-term physical or mental damage, provided that it is not abused, and it is only done so much that the message gets through. Yes, you could argue that a particularly bad child would take a long time to get the point, in which case you might cultivate an impression that violence was the way to solve everything, but for a child to be that belligerent, there would have to be other factors in the child's upbringing causing such an attitude of disobedience.

Violence is not something that I would choose to eliminate entirely from my children. To do so would be very, very dangerous for them, because I know for a fact that the same could not be said for the parents of those children who will grow up to pick on those who do not ascribe to violence. Control is key, not elimination - my children will be taught that violence should never be used to get one's way, but only as a final, last-resort tool to defend one's way, or that of another.

In Essence: I think there are very few situations in which physical disciplining should be used, and I think that it is a last resort after a child has shown that they have no compulsion to listen to reason, but that I is necessary to allow a level of physical discipline to parents (a short to medium smack at most should get the message across given proper parenting in other areas), as there are some situations where it is the only thing that will actually get children to stop doing something that they do not yet understand the reasons against.

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