Quote:
Originally Posted by s_k
@ Tore:
I'd be fine with that.
It sounds a bit gross, but I wouldn't have sex with her just after she went to his place and before she took a shower. I mean, I really don't like boys in that way.
But apart from that, relationship wise, I wouldn't mind.
I mean, everone has thought 'man I would like to bang that girl' (or man) in a relationship. But you can't, because you shouldn't. But why not? It's normal in some cultures.
I know I'm a bit strange in this. But I really wouldn't mind.
I must admit that the reactions on MB are a bit more 'what the...' than the reactions in the Netherlands. So it's still a bit a cultural thing. But it's not normal here to have two girlfriends either. Altough I have heard of some cases.
|
I believe the only reason you could ever be okay with it would be if you had little emotional interest in the relationship. Basically, that it was dead for you. If you were really into a girl, you wouldn't like sharing her with someone else. The belief that you would be okay with it is a belief I think has been untested so far in your life.
There are many reasons why you should never want to share the girl/woman you love with another man. Some of these are purely instinctual, deeply rooted in the subconcious. For example, if you read up on modern biological theory (I'm a biologist), you'll see that organisms evolve to maximise their fitness and behaviours/strategies vulnerable to exploitation are not stable and so are weeded out. If your partner has sex with another man and gets pregnant, that's a bad situation from a fitness point of view. What could be even worse then would be if you raised the child believing it was your own. That would mean that you would spend your time and resources helping a different man maximize his fitness instead of doing something to promote your own. Then you have, from a biological fitness point of view, been exploited.
This just pokes at the tip of the ice-berg of why we're geared with feelings of jealousy in the first place. This is something we have evolved and just because cultures change, that doesn't mean our biology and feelings change with it. You can add to that a multitude of other possible reasons why such polygamy is a bad idea, such as the psychology of social relationships and so on.
Monogamy is generally the norm for a reason.