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Originally Posted by ThePhanastasio
Here is what I read out of that: You are still in love with this girl. When you use the word "need", that's all I needed to read to see that this goes beyond the feelings of friendship and that sort of love for you.
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I don't think I really am.
I just need her because she's the only person who understands all my weird logic and twistes. She's really a valuable addition to my life.
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There's nothing wrong with being friends with your ex, but really - the cuddling and things of that nature really is unfair. And not just for you, but for anyone she dates.
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As I've said before, I also do this with friends I haven't dated at all
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Yes, I know you could probably care less about the people she's dating. But think of it this way: SHE IS DATING THEM. She is not dating you. That's an important distinction to come to terms with, and that's really the true issue at hand. It really is.
Sure, it might not be the most serious of relationships, or anything of that nature, but it's really not helping anyone out. It's not helping her find a stable relationship, although she is dating people. It's not helping you find a relationship. It's not helping anyone she might attempt to date potentially have a good relationship with her. It's just a completely counter-productive situation...for all involved really.
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If having a relationship means having to ditch the ones (or things, for that matter. I know a lot of people who had to remove their tapedecks out of the living room for a girl) you love, I don't mind not being in a relationship.
And I know you're wrong in this case, just because there are girls who know me very well and who know the way I am with Fleur, who wouldn't mind having a relationship with me. So... I don't think it'll limit my chances of a new relationship. And if it does, so be it
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The reason I chose to comment on this is because one of my best guy friends is in an almost identical situation, and as someone close to him who's been aware of the situation since it came about, I know it's hurting him more than doing good. It's really difficult to watch this unfold, because no matter what we tell him, even his best friends are unable to convince him that he's not in a good situation. He won't listen, but things have progressively gotten worse and worse, particularly as of late.
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But I don't feel bad about it. Not anymore, not at all.
And I don't sacrifice my whole social life just to be good to her.
It's not a similar situation then, is it?
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For your sake, really sit down and take a good long look at the situation, and try to figure out if it could ever be a positive situation without a DRASTIC change taking place. If a drastic change is required, it'd probably be best to really move on.
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I really appreciate your concern. But it really isn't going to help.
Please realise (same goes for Dirty and the others) that I posted this to explain the situation. Not to get advice
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I know you are realy trying to help, but really, it's not going to work and you're probably only getting frustrated because I won't listen to you.
I do listen, I just don't agree. I've thought this over very, very thorougly and it's been over a year now. I'm absolutely certain the way I'm approaching stuff now, is best for me. Don't worry. I'm fine. The situation is just too different to anything else for anyone to explain.