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riseagainstrocks · 07-22-2005, 01:15 PM

You repeat the line

"Don't pass me by,
Don't pass me by,
Don't let me go..."

far too much. It loses its power.

Also, the rhyming seems trite. Don't stop writing by any means, but put some variance into it.

07-22-2005, 01:15 PM	#6 (permalink)
riseagainstrocks Music Addict Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: DC Posts: 3,320	You repeat the line "Don't pass me by, Don't pass me by, Don't let me go..." far too much. It loses its power. Also, the rhyming seems trite. Don't stop writing by any means, but put some variance into it. __________________ One note timeless, came out of nowhere...