Quote:
Originally Posted by Freebase Dali
I think my mom, bless her heart, is the stupidest person I know. I'm going to hell for saying that, but it's true.
Mom: *sneezing 14 times*
Me: "You should sneeze through your nose or something, maybe whatever's in there will get blown out and stop irritating it?"
Mom: "No way!"
Me: "Why not?"
Mom: "Because you can die like that!"
Me: "What?"
Mom: "The pressure can make your brains explode out your ears and you need to stop trying to get me to sneeze through my nose so I'll die."
Or...
Mom: "I don't believe in doctors. I'm not going to one. If I go they're going to make me get surgery on my back and I'm going to be in a wheel chair for the rest of my life."
Me: "Mom, it's for a prescription."
Mom: "I don't believe in prescriptions."
Or..
Mom: "The only reason you didn't die in Iraq is because I prayed for you."
Me: "I was never in any real danger."
Mom: "You still would have died."
Or...
Me: "Mom, you should stop smoking. That cough is really getting bad. I don't want you to get cancer"
Mom: "I won't get cancer. I pray about it."
Me: "So there's never been a case of a Christian dying of cancer?"
Mom: "No. And if there is, they weren't Christian enough."
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKK
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These are all hilarious. I love them. The last one there is my favourite i think. No Christian has ever died of cancer?
"You still would have died" is the kind of irrational thing you would expect a mother to say in that kind of situation i think. Or at least you wouldn't agrue with her.
"I dont believe in prescriptions" is a strange thing to say. But the mother of a girl i was friends with when i was younger used to say things like that all the time. I lost count of the amount of things she didn't believe in.
"Are you coming out for Haloween?"
"No, my mother doesn't believe in Haloween."
Whats not to believe in? It may be a dumb "holiday", this is true, but let the kid out to have some fun for Gods sake!