Thrice

I need help on the analysis of a situation. A few times when I have tripped in the past, it seems an odd thing has happened, similar to deja vu. I have not really recognized it fully, but got a little closer to it this weekend. I cannot remember the exact details of each instance, but I will try my hardest to explain.

A few years ago, while in the Military, myself and a buddy dropped a semi-large amount of LSD in our room. Spent most of the night there then there came a time early in the AM when a series of events that were occurring seemed all to familiar, and I had the knowledge of what was to come, and it wasn't good. There was a part of the room in which we did not go near all night, because it had an awful down hill slope to it (of course it was a level room in reality) which seemed dark, and possessed negative energy. Finally, I worked up the courage to go over and check it out. I yelled up to my bud at the top of the hill that it was safe, he joined me at the bottom. The beginning of the deja vu like thoughts came when somehow we figured the best way to get back up would be to flail like a trout/salmon back up to level ground. I know this is something I have never consciously thought of. After reaching our destination back up top, I talked like a robot in the fan for a minute. This is saw me doing exactly before actually doing it. The next thing I remembered from my prior dream like adventure was taking a peek outside. The most vivid part of the entire recall came when looking out the window and all I knew is that it ended very badly. I couldn't figure out why it could possibly be so bad, and popped open the window. The bright morning sun shined right into my huge pupils, and worse trip ever occurred immediately after. I still can't figure out why such a minute action could trigger such a thing.

The most recent account of this occurred Friday. I was tripping with my best friend, all was great. We were laying in bed watching the sun rise and listening to Yeasayer- Sunrise on repeat. A much enjoyable experience. The sunrise was set to occur at 6:41. The deju vu began again. While hitting up youtube I felt it, then just cuddling in bed with her I felt it. Then I felt if 6:41 came and I wasn't getting nasty with her, bad things were to come. Having this feeling twice before, and ignoring the signs had both resulted in a bad trip. Mind you, this broad has been my best friend for about ten years, she is total wifey material, and we pretty much plan on getting our young wild days out of our systems before starting any sort of relationship. I have not more than kissed her about 5 years ago, and it's also weird because I slept with her twin sister in high school. So there is really no sexual tension between us, as we were both in our undies and laying in the same bed and were fine. As time approached 6:41 my mind was in complete turmoil, and all the thoughts I had were so familiar, and I feared I would be lead into an awful place. This time I decided to go against the grain and sleep with her at precisely 6:40, and had the complete opposite of a bad trip. Euphoria.

I don't know what to make of this phenomenon. I know LSD is a hell of a drug, and the first few times I completely dismissed any thoughts of a logical explanation to this. Now that I have conducted few basic experiments on it and came out with such results, my mind is boggled. I have experienced other bad trips, without any deja vu like characteristics, which now, are fully controllable. Am I thinking into this too much? Could I just be a total nut? Is there really any deja vu at all? Could this just be my own thoughts being played out visually in my head subconsciously seconds before the actual events occur?

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Lew Harrison, who looked like an anarchist with his red eyes and fierce black beard, had been writing furiously in one corner of the room. "That's good—happiness by the kilowatt," he said. "Buy your happiness the way you buy light."