Music Banter - View Single Post - Freebase Dali's Toxic Verbal Adventure (part 2)
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Old 04-17-2010, 08:03 PM   #5 (permalink)
Dr.Seussicide
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Join Date: Jul 2009
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Freebase Dali View Post


CTRL+Dismay


That phony blithe ghost-wife, host to a fading still-life
Null-strife performing better than surgery with a dull knife
Think your way out of a skull crisis
That seagull life is, that regal price is, morally supported vices minus a cost
Ink crossed with legal toss fostering evil(er) thoughts
On the brink of a lip-sync'd lie from high on the sole of the boss
Abstraction for the sole purpose of covering loss
The gloss minimum
Reality surfaced with pits and sin in 'em
So lay down lightly, hands to the front and try to fight me
Fuck a daily grind when you can live your life nightly
Write a letter to your senator, and this is what you say:
Control plus Control plus Control plus Dismay.
I liked it, it's good, but I just thought you lost a bit of the flow at this point: "On the brink of a lip-sync'd lie from high on the sole of the boss"

Anyways, the in the first four lines it flowed perfectly dull knife; skull crisis; seagull life is, etc, but yeah that's about the only critique I had, keep 'em coming man.
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