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Originally Posted by Dancing_Princess18
Okay so yeah you can tell what happened to me today (yay a holiday!!) and I get my emotions out through songs, no idea if they are any good but just for fun. Tell me what you think of them feel free to edit anything if you want I want HARD cold opinions. Thanks!
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Hi Dancing_Princess18,
I know from your introduction in the intro section that you like country music, and I can imagine these lyrics in a country song. "Probably Should" describes the depressing state people can get in after someone they loved leaves them: you find yourself a basket case, unable to feel happy again.
I see your song as being honest, but I also cringe at the way it shows a person wallowing in those feelings of sadness and depression, unable to find the motivation to get back to the healthier parts of life (interacting with friends, eating healthful foods, etc.).
The lines that make me feel the song is wallowing in the feeling of depression are where you talk about the need to eat something, call back friends, and maybe check into rehab. They almost make the song sound funny to me because these examples are so concrete, so precise. I recommend paraphrasing them somehow so that they aren't stated so directly.
Yet at the same time, your song is very honest, because I've been there where relationship problems messed up my eating patterns, made me divert my attention inward and not feel like interacting with friends, and even once led my parents to take me to a psychiatrist! I think because it is embarrassing to admit that I didn't keep an even keel, it makes it hard to read the honesty of this situation in your song...yet that same honesty is part of your song's appeal to me. It tells it like it is!
When I read your lyrics, I want to say this to the depressed person in the story: "I know it is hard, but the best thing that person did was to leave you!" When someone doesn't love you, the best thing he can do is to go and not waste more of your time. So, I wish the song would find some spark of realization that it is for the best that this person is gone.
For example, in Taylor Swift's "White Horse" song, which has a similar topic as yours, she concludes that it is too late for the man, whom she trusted and loved but who lied to and cheated on her, to come to try to rescue her. She has moved past him and realizes that he is not good for her...even though she still loves him. So, this song acknowledges the disappointment but shows her exit way back to feeling better again.