Ok maybe I'm taking it too far... but here's another one. I'll keep it lighter next time. I don't want cops to come or anything....
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Are you somewhere out there?
You: Hey
Stranger: Hi!
You: I'm kinda nervous about this...
Stranger: why?
You: Well... I'm sorta chatting behind someone's back so...
Stranger: How so? care to explain?
You: Well, he's literally facing in the opposite direction and he's my boyfriend. His computer is facing the other wall in our room and he's probably watching porn... so I'm totally going to chat with a guy. You're a guy right?
Stranger: No...sorry, why dont you just talk to him about it?
You: Well.. he hits me.
Stranger: oh well thats not goof!!
Stranger: good*
You: Mostly he kicks me though... in the legs, and blames it on our coffee table if anyone asks. We have a pretty pointy coffee table.
Stranger: yikes! maybe you shouldnt be with him...?
You: I tried that!!!! I mean... If I had to go back to my parents house, I'd die...literally. really. But I sometimes think he wants to kil me the waty he looks at me when he says I mess up. One time i made potato salad and he said there were too many potatoes.
You: I spent 30 minutes cleaning blood from the kitchen tiles after that.
Stranger: well isnt that the point of a potato salad?! oh no! that's horrible!
Stranger: there's no one else you can go to?
You: Yea! I know right! Well... I could go to my uncles house but we kinda have a past. He did some things when I was younger and I don't really wanna be with him
Stranger: Oh...hmmm are there any close friends you can turn to?
You: Well i have a friend omar.. he's black but he has good morals. he could probably take care of me but I don't want my BF to start anything and I really dont' want things to escalate
Stranger: I see...hmmm isn't it pretty bad right now though?
You: well yea but i dunno.. I mean... ****.. hold on...
You: just pretend like you're my friend ok????
Stranger: sure
You: sjf[a hey who is this????
You: who the **** is this????
You: I see the **** she said.
Stranger: I am a friend
You: she thinks im dumb. but im not.
Stranger: what?
Stranger: No one is dumb
You: kj; fso0 **** look, i dont know what your doing and i dont care but this woman is outta focontrol
You: are you a cop?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
I kind of screwed up the ending there.