one of the better ones you've posted, i just have a few suggestions.
This is the great fall
of a once exalted nation
drinking the venom of self-corruption //venom = bad word. try:drinking from the chalice of self corruption
giving into the worship of demon idols //demonic idols is correct grammer.
becoming the whore of her own sins
selling out herself for unworthy desires
chorus:
killing themselves slowly and painfully// i really don't like the chorus. it seems very forced. sometimes songs don't need chorus's and this seems like one of them
they forget all that happened in the past
and forge a pact written in their blood
with the prince of hell himself
their fathers laid the seeds of power
just to be thrown away in disrespect
for the covenant of their fathers
turning their backs away from their provider
vulnerable to the siege of their enemies
unaware of their eventual demise
I give you people of this nation// i really like this last stanza, simple yet powerful. good work on this one.
all that your hearts desire
disregard the laws of your elders
for within me you will find happiness
I will give you all of this
for the small price of your souls
now their temple, cities, and towns lie in ruins
now they sweat in the courts of hell
now they are the dark prince's jesters
forever condemned to eternal fire
overall probably the best you've put up here
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One note timeless, came out of nowhere...
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