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music_phantom13 · 10-13-2009, 11:21 PM

I'm kind of in the middle of fixing ****.

I did great in high school, started smoking pot in sophomore year I believe but graduated with a 3.6 and got accepted into University of Maryland's computer science program. I wasn't really sure about it, but I'm pretty good at math and working with computers and my mom's a computer scientist and I felt a bit pressured into it, plus I wanted to see what it was like. I never thought about the possibility of waiting a year before going to school, and in hindsight that probably would have been the best thing I could have done.

My high school was in a great area, I live in Fairfax County which is a bunch of rich people, but there was a huge heroin problem. So, sadly, summer after I graduated, I got into it a bit with my best friend, Jenna, who was coming with me to Maryland to study biology. When we got there, we both went downhill pretty fast. Somehow, we both got through the first semester; she did better than me as I ended up on academic probation because of heroin and taking classes I hated. We managed to curb our problem by staying together and avoiding it for the most part, during winter break and the beginning of the next semester, but then we got sucked back in together and we both ended up failing out. Then, in October, she overdosed and went to the hospital. I spent the night there terrified I would lose her, but she somehow pulled through. I completely quit for a while at that point, but still wasn't doing **** with my life but smoking weed. About a month later, being the dumbasses that her and I are, we went back. We got sucked in again badly. I still signed up for classes for the next semester, and started dating an ex, though I was and am in love with Jenna. Jenna's New Year's resolution was to get sober, and I told her I would do it with her. But I went about three days before going back, and I ended up sucking her in as well.

Then, in January a week before classes were supposed to start, my girlfriend broke up with me, and I was pissed off. Jenna called me and told me she really needed me to come see her, but instead I decided to tell her to **** off and make her cry. I guess I was angry that she didn't seem to care that my girlfriend broke up with me and decided to ignore her. I should have known why she was calling, but for what ever reason I did nothing. Later that night, I got a call from her roommate to tell me she had found her passed out with a needle and dope, and it was too late.

Withdrawal was tough but really not too hard for me to get through compared to how I felt. Shortly after, I got a job working full time doing networking and IT stuff, which I like, and now I'm waiting to leave for 4 years in the Navy to work on the electronics in planes in January. I'm done with drugs now, but I do enjoy my alcohol sometimes. I'm taking classes this fall too after work, and I'm getting all A's so I'd say I've started turning things around.

That said, because of my addiction and stupidity I caused my best friend to get back into something she probably could have escaped from that ended up killing her. And the last time I talked to her I made her cry, and didn't so much as mutter a sorry. Now instead of a best friend to visit, I have a ****ing rock on the ground and a few pictures, nightmares of her crying and hearing that phone call, and the weight of the fact that if I had just put aside my stupid problems for a few minutes she might still be here. I guess the point is, you're human and make mistakes, but don't go doing something as stupid as I did. Heroin's a hell of a drug, don't get mixed up in that ****. And try to remember, you never know when it might be the last time you get to talk to someone, and I hope no one else has to find out what it's like when it ends on a bad note.

Doubt anyone cares, but that's my story.

10-13-2009, 11:21 PM	#23 (permalink)
music_phantom13 Music Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Pittsburgh, PA Posts: 942	I'm kind of in the middle of fixing **. I did great in high school, started smoking pot in sophomore year I believe but graduated with a 3.6 and got accepted into University of Maryland's computer science program. I wasn't really sure about it, but I'm pretty good at math and working with computers and my mom's a computer scientist and I felt a bit pressured into it, plus I wanted to see what it was like. I never thought about the possibility of waiting a year before going to school, and in hindsight that probably would have been the best thing I could have done. My high school was in a great area, I live in Fairfax County which is a bunch of rich people, but there was a huge heroin problem. So, sadly, summer after I graduated, I got into it a bit with my best friend, Jenna, who was coming with me to Maryland to study biology. When we got there, we both went downhill pretty fast. Somehow, we both got through the first semester; she did better than me as I ended up on academic probation because of heroin and taking classes I hated. We managed to curb our problem by staying together and avoiding it for the most part, during winter break and the beginning of the next semester, but then we got sucked back in together and we both ended up failing out. Then, in October, she overdosed and went to the hospital. I spent the night there terrified I would lose her, but she somehow pulled through. I completely quit for a while at that point, but still wasn't doing with my life but smoking weed. About a month later, being the dumbasses that her and I are, we went back. We got sucked in again badly. I still signed up for classes for the next semester, and started dating an ex, though I was and am in love with Jenna. Jenna's New Year's resolution was to get sober, and I told her I would do it with her. But I went about three days before going back, and I ended up sucking her in as well. Then, in January a week before classes were supposed to start, my girlfriend broke up with me, and I was pissed off. Jenna called me and told me she really needed me to come see her, but instead I decided to tell her to off and make her cry. I guess I was angry that she didn't seem to care that my girlfriend broke up with me and decided to ignore her. I should have known why she was calling, but for what ever reason I did nothing. Later that night, I got a call from her roommate to tell me she had found her passed out with a needle and dope, and it was too late. Withdrawal was tough but really not too hard for me to get through compared to how I felt. Shortly after, I got a job working full time doing networking and IT stuff, which I like, and now I'm waiting to leave for 4 years in the Navy to work on the electronics in planes in January. I'm done with drugs now, but I do enjoy my alcohol sometimes. I'm taking classes this fall too after work, and I'm getting all A's so I'd say I've started turning things around. That said, because of my addiction and stupidity I caused my best friend to get back into something she probably could have escaped from that ended up killing her. And the last time I talked to her I made her cry, and didn't so much as mutter a sorry. Now instead of a best friend to visit, I have a ing rock on the ground and a few pictures, nightmares of her crying and hearing that phone call, and the weight of the fact that if I had just put aside my stupid problems for a few minutes she might still be here. I guess the point is, you're human and make mistakes, but don't go doing something as stupid as I did. Heroin's a hell of a drug, don't get mixed up in that **. And try to remember, you never know when it might be the last time you get to talk to someone, and I hope no one else has to find out what it's like when it ends on a bad note. Doubt anyone cares, but that's my story.