Quote:
Originally Posted by boo boo
I have a lot of problems with feminism, or at least how a lot of feminists prevent themselves, and their idealization of what women should be like (which is to basically be men with vaginas, or so it seems these days at least) is just as oppressive and constricting as what they are rallying against. It's just hypocritical bullsh*t.
It served a great purpose once, but now it's just as oppressive to women as chauvinism, it needs to die.
Now of course I'm not talking about all feminists. But I have a deep resentment for those who try to make other women feel that their feminity is something to be ashamed of, isn't that the opposite of feminism? Feminity is natural.
If the point of feminism was to give women the same opportunities as men, then great, we're closer to that goal then ever, so why all the bitching?
And problem number 3 with radical feminism is how it discriminates against women who not only pride their feminity but their maternity and "homemaker" role in a relationship as well.
To me this is not any different than how women used to be treated, only now the idealism of what a women should be has changed. The original idea was that a women shouldn't be constricted to being a stay at home mom or being constricted to being a sex object, she should be entitled to be whatever she wants to be.
But now, if a women chooses to be a stay at home mom or actually pride her physical beauty and making her man happy. Then she's either a mindless slave or a slut. Basically it's saying all women have to be abrasive and never passive, even though it's natural for both men AND women to be passive.
|
Hey boo boo,
I see feminism as simply support for "political, economic, and social equality of the sexes" and organized activity on behalf of this goal. (
feminism - Definition from the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary).
Feminism does challenge assumptions about categories of people, especially when there is a long history of people being *forced* into those categories by social norms and governmental laws.
Ideally, feminism supports people, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, to be who *they* want to be (ultra-focused on fulfilling their culture's gender norms, or completely opposed to those norms) and do the jobs/life activities *they* want to do (stay-home dad, stay-home mom, working dad, working mom, etc.) without being constrained by unequal social burdens and laws.
I agree with you that anyone who is trying to make someone else feel shame about herself or himself is not supporting this ideal of equal opportunity. I feel that no one, whether male, female, transgender, etc., should be made to feel bad about who that person is or wants to be.
I am a feminist and as such there are many causes I support. For example, if men want to grow their hair long, women want to cut their hair short, etc., that is fine and what affects only their body should be their choice. Men are subjected to many unfair practices that I would like to see end: men are drafted while usually women are not (well, actually I oppose any draft but if there is one it shouldn't use gender as a method of discriminating); men are sometimes ridiculed if they want to stay home with the kids; men may be ridiculed if they have long hair; many boys, especially in the U.S., are forced to undergo genital cutting (circumcision) that destroys their foreskins, the most sensitive part of their erogenous external genitalia); men are told they shouldn't be passive, emotional, etc.
I am especially sensitive to women being encouraged to think of themselves primarily in sexual ways because historically in the U.S. women were confined to a subservient, sexual role (not allowed rights in marriage, not able to be divorced if they didn't have kids, not able to play sports because it would "hurt their reproductive systems," etc.). So, when I see a woman who is fitting herself in the stereotype of what "feminine" is, I always ask myself why she is doing this. Does she want to for positive reasons or because she is afraid and feels she *has* to? There is a big difference. Women who wear make-up sometimes actually feel uncomfortable without it on and don't want to go out in public, fearing people will think they are ugly, which I feel is very sad. Similarly, when I see men with short hair (which includes most men), I conclude many of them get their hair cut almost religiously every month because deep down they feel fear of non-conformity, which is ironic, because short hair is supposed to symbolize strength!
I don't view feminists as opposing people appreciating sexuality and attraction and differences among people, as long as those people are able to be who they want to be for positive reasons rather than negative reasons. There is still a lot of social pressure to be "feminine" or "masculine" (as typically defined within a culture) as opposed to "gender-neutral," and usually social pressure can be quite vicious and most people are afraid not to give in.
For example, I used to shave my body hair (legs, underarms) when I was in my early 20's, even though I hated shaving more and more: I didn't like the fact that people were telling me there was something wrong with my body and thus I was supposed to shave (whereas men weren't told to shave *their* legs and underarms); I didn't like the blood from nicks; I didn't like the prickly stubble on my legs when they touched in bed. So, when I was 25, I decided I'd had enough of this social norm that claims, illogically, that women are supposed to not have hair and thus should cut it off. Hmm...if women didn't naturally have hair, then there would be no *need* to shave most of their body!! So, I stopped shaving and for years have been the happy owner of all my body hair...and thanks to my genotype we are not talking a light fluff of down, here!
People occasionally ridicule me nastily in public when I wear shorts, with my (gasp) leg hair showing, but on the positive side violating a constrictive, social norm quickly shows you who your true friends are...people who like you for who you are. I often feel like a natural science specimen, such as when I go swimming and all the 12-year-old girls in the showers (going through their Miley Cyrus phase) stare at me and my hair with shock...they have never seen a fully natural woman before. Lifeguards cluster around and stare at me like I'm a baboon in a zoo. People are not used to seeing someone who is not afraid of social rejection and not afraid of her own body.
Boo boo, while the fight for human equality in social, economic, and political arenas has made great strides in many places in the last 150 years (because of much, much, much effort on the part of feminist women and feminist men), feminism is still very much needed in the world, especially since women in many cultures are still valued less than men (and given fewer opportunities, less education, less food, etc.).
I would say that one psychological issue I wrestle with, in all honesty...and perhaps this does relate to the feminism as you describe it...is that sometimes I *do* wish I could feel a protected, cherished, "Knight-on-White-Horse is going to defend me" kind of feeling, yet I find myself trying to fight that desire for many reasons: I feel it is important to be self-dependent; I feel I should not rely on others psychologically, because that is unfair to them. It is hard for me to admit emotional vulnerability. Though I think this may be true for many people, whether male or female, it is likely that my conflicting desire to be vulnerable and also *not* be vulnerable relates to my upbringing, which encouraged each person to be her own individual (a feminist belief).