no problem! I didn't mean to say that the use of more sophisticated vocabulary takes away from the poem, because it doesn't. What I meant is that in a few instances, they do seem forced.
These are examples of when you used it well:
Quote:
I didn't ask for the -isms of perfection
or the (layers upon layers) of ill-conceived contention
|
Quote:
Do you really care about the things that you so advocate?
Or is there power in the robe that dictate's
|
These...not so much in my mind, whether they seem just like they are trying too hard or whether it sounds forced. Remember tho, this is just one opinion!
Quote:
To our dismay, his augury was right
when we found his cold indicative war
they soon reached us (4)
(but i) always regress (6)
I already knew to leave before
|
Quote:
So, If I can’t demarcate right
why does it feel right to define
what is wrong? Why is there height
on the right walls of malign
|
(Demarcate was a good choice, but malign is an adj. not a noun so..mmno)
Im not sure if you can get the difference...or if there really is a defined rule that we can apply, mostly its all just subjective.
If you wouldn't mind bopping over to my thread, i'd really love some advice.