Quote:
Hands that kill
Hands
These god damn hands
Have killed many a man,man
Hands that kill
See these hands
Killed a man
Performed surgery
Delivered a new born baby
Touched the face of a lady
When these hands kill again
I can't be certain
But for certain they will kill a man,man
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I found this one particularly interesting to me just because I've posted a poem on hands too. Very different view points, but in a subtle way the same style. You have a real gift if you can focus your attention. These are excellent poems, but to make them into music you'll have to put in a bit more structure and make them just a bit longer...unless you wanted to break them up a little bit and have them be mostly instrumentals.
I didn't like Tard just because I didn't understand it too well, and I have a particular aversion to the misuse of the word retard, we tend to make it very lighthearted, which its not.
I agree with everyone else that the last stanza of your first poem is very well written. Perhaps if you revised the first stanza a bit to reflect the last one (while still keeping its serious meaning) it would fit together a little better and better convey your point.