VEGANGELICA

Hi, Bungalow,
What, specifically, do you feel is awful about the songs? This information may be helpful to tanner99. For example, is it the subject matter or the way it is presented that you find to be awful? If it is the way it is presented, how would you improve the presentation of the subject matter?

Looking again at the first song, for example, I could note two issues:

(1) The song is, I think, supposed to be serious. Therefore it sticks out when some humor is added (for the sake of rhyming lines, perhaps)...

...since "tension" is an understatement for the harshness of the condition in which the "protagonist/antagonist" is in.

(2) There are some inconsistencies in verb tense use:

I would recommend saying,
"Can't you see you blinded me
then threw me into the black sea."

Also, I would like to hear how the words are meshed with the tune to be able to tell more about the flow of the song, since the stanza lengths are different throughout the song, and I'm not sure how (well) they will mesh with the actual music.

I feel the basic (underlying) subject matter of the songs is summarized in the first two lines, and this subject is an important one about which a lot of songs can be written (as tanner99 is doing):

Doesn't this describe the major problem with humanity? People are so focused inwardly on their own needs/wishes that they don't see or don't care to see, and really don't want to help all those around them who are hurt or suffering and whom they themselves have hurt? The protagonist in the 4th song is dealing with the ultimate sadness (from a human perspective) caused by violence/destruction...the end of the world.

The songs show one way of reacting to this societal sociopathy, which is with rage and revenge. We see this decision, unfortunately, expressed all too often in actual acts of physical violence throughout the world. If only more people wrote about it in songs rather than actually being violent!

--Erica

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