I am currently accepting applicants for adoption, however you must meet a fairly reasonable criteria:
1. You will be known forth as "Filthy Assistant" and will respond to that name until further notice.
2. You will post intelligent and thoughtful posts with an open mind to those around you.
3. You build a statue of my likeness using only your butt cheeks.
If you feel that you can live up to these very reasonable requirements, please send me a PM entitled "Please Guide Me Through The Dark"
By becoming my adoptee, you wave all rights and responsibilities if you get sold into slavery in an attempt to pay off my debt.
Enjoy!
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