Quote:
Originally Posted by Crowe
The culmination of 4 years of relationship -- ended a year ago. And my "final" thoughts on the matter. Enjoy.
Emma Bear
Sex has never been more worthless,
A mild tempered snake enters a bag of sand.
My insides contract with that adoring look,
Adorning her face she's got her hooks,
Deep into my back drawing me downward
Like an leaden anchor filled with darkest matter.
I'll sink here awhile and listen to her laughter.
She cheers me on as if she can hear my hesitation,
I'd rather eat a blistering orphan than continue
With this sickly, wet concerto of undulations.
Her screams of pleasure are my bowels retching.
She fumbles over my skin like a blind child seeking comfort,
She looks into my eyes seeking some sort of return,
If only she realized that I'm not even there,
But rather in silence, a time out of mind,
A billion ashes in a cast iron urn.
Tomorrow is only more of the same,
She'll hold my hand and think of perfection,
It's my cuff to the cold of skin and bone,
My detestable queen has made me,
A king...
sitting in my forever throne.
R. Crowe, 9/13/08 |
Hi, R. Crowe,
I realize it has been almost a year since you posted this poem, but I am just now getting to it since I am a new MB member.
The images that you use in this poem/song are very vivid, just as in your others that I've read. I like the density of your work: each word sounds as if it has been thought about very carefully and selected for a particular reason. Also, your subject matter is original and interesting (as in the previous poem, "Thomas"). You aren't afraid of dealing with "warped" feelings. Your poems are not Celine Dion's (which I feel is a good thing :-)
"Emma Bear" captures very thoroughly the disgusting emotion of feeling obliged to have sex with someone with whom you no longer feel a connection or respect, and the feeling of anger that this individual can love and want so much from you while not realizing you are not wanting to be involved (which, I would say, ideally would be something that is resolved through discussion *before* it gets to the stage the poem describes, but life and choices aren't ideal).
Some of the images/descriptions you create that have special impact on me are the following:
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"A mild tempered snake enters a bag of sand."
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This describes well what it is like when sex is reduced to the mere physical (although actually I feel mental activity is physical...neurons firing, etc....but I think you know what I mean).
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"Sickly wet concerto of undulations."
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Ugh. My goodness. That is the perfect description.
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"My detestable queen has made me a king"
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"My detestable queen" succinctly converges the ironic, repulsive situation in which she is *supposed* to be your queen (she wants to be)...and part of you must have felt that you should be the king (otherwise you wouldn't have been continuing with the charade)...but you want nothing more than to be out (in a number of ways).
The poem is a very sad one, I feel, because it describes such a real situation with such physicality, and yet evades the whole question of right/wrong...it simply describes the feelings as they are, which is part of the poem's power. Both sides of the situation you describe are unpleasant to experience, and you capture the, in this case, male's perspective well...which is not to say that women can't also feel "caught" in a web of love and dependence they don't want. I would be interested, Crowe, to read what you would write if you were to make (up) a song about (what you imagine was) Emma Bear's view of the situation...that is, the mirror image poem to "Emma Bear."
--Erica