I think you could go with a simple title like "Dark" or "Jaded"
i suggest when you start creating the music start with piano/keyboard (or MIDI)
then go on to either guitar/bass, add drums/percussion and then anyhing else you believe would go with the song.
i think this is very good song. what you could do is record the vocals so we know what it sounds like, and then after some listening some people might help you out.
also are there any other influences you can think of?
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