Why was your eye itchy?
Because a spider layed its eggs in your head
Why did you feel unwell?
You had the plague
What did Helen Keller name her dog?
oggkhknmfdsnkmnfdjznfj
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One holds groceries, the other molests children.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: He didn't. He got hit by a bus.
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