You've jumped tenses and may want to correct that.
i like the poem and with very minor changes it will be excellent! That last line is really good, and could be KILLER if you find another word for 'sit.'
(i've found that a thesaurus is an extremely valuable tool for writing pretty much anything ~ it's like adding watercolor to a charcoal drawing ~ makes it more interesting and gives you more power for expression.)
Thanx for sharing!
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