Don't make me shoot you......
Toooooo angsty.
"The writing I have been pushing my pencils to write"
That line needs to be done away with completely.....fill me in on what you're trying to do with this. Is it a poem, or lyrics? Either way, there should be some kind of consistant structure and theme to the whole thing. I think you stayed true to the theme, but even so, it's a theme that is very much overused. Let's try to work the bugs out of this. Study other poems or other lyrics, and learn from the styles. Don't copy what you see, but learn to apply different methods and create your own style.
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Originally Posted by RezZ
I think I know much better than you ever will how Mettalica is. I used to play for 2 years in a Mettalica cover band.
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