Well said. I usually skip over it also, even though I've done the same rhyming style in a few of mine.
It works if the pace is slow, but 9/10 times your readers wont be going the proper pace for constant rhyming not to bother them.
In this case, it's impossible to give this much thought at all, since every last word rhymes.
I'd try what Ethan said, and basically rewrite it using a different style.
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Originally Posted by RezZ
I think I know much better than you ever will how Mettalica is. I used to play for 2 years in a Mettalica cover band.
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