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Old 04-25-2007, 10:35 PM   #5 (permalink)
xemoxyox623
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: louisiana
Posts: 16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ace View Post
Ouch. That's a bit harsh, Ethan.
Unfortunately, I'll have to agree with em' on this one.
Perhaps if you chose a different subject, and made sure not to end every line with words that rhyme. Example:

heart, apart, pain, gain, down, around, sound, turn, burn....

I could keep going.
Try to rewrite it using a different style.
i generally do write with a rhyme, sometimes good, sometimes bad. i guess i can take it from a different perspective. thanks. ;]
(and yes construction criticism is more appreciated than outright insult)
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