PaperHurricanesAndPlanes

Psh. Your mom is an apparition. But seriously, here we go.

What have I been, the revision of objects in the air?
My body wreathing upward like a ring in the night sky.
I was dropped apon canvas, setting fire to my oils,
Burning like a lantern yet never taking ash.
^ Pretty sure it's "upon." This is great imagery, but, what the hell are you talking about?

And a perception such as mine spills from my weak and weary eyes,
But I am only scanning a sparse landscape for the sun I once knew.
And as jagged peaks made way for the soft light of the day,
I pictured a city block, not the unveiled sky.
^ Again, wtf are you talking about? I guess you're moving around, observing things, but...it just doesn't seem connected, and I have yet to figure out why I am supposed to give a sh!t.

For within my lust to become that which is undone,
I left my own hand to wander this board, and what it traced
Was the picture of a solitary face, an apartment,
And a sillouhette in the rain... I have chosen to forget.
^ The first line seems quite irrelevant, unless you meant "wanderlust," in which case, just say wanderlust. The only part of this verse I liked was the second line, before the comma. The rest is pretty hackneyed.

You didn't tell me why I should care, it just seemed to be a jumble of images, good ones, but, they were without much of a point. 5/10.

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