This is generally very good. I really like the line "Nothing he said ever wed with the beliefs which they hold" and think this should be the end line so perhaps you could lose the last three lines of the piece. Or at least get rid of the "if this was a card game, you'd be smart to fold" line.
I'm not sure about what the phrase
"Christ-like thinking and men, died on the crucifix on that day.
Sweetie, antediluvian is the word. Honey, obsolete is the word."
means, as:
1. Most people won't know what the word antediluvian means (I had to look it up)
2. It's quite a bizarre word to use here where within that sentence you've stripped it of context and you could be meaning it is outdated/antiquated or you could be referring to the features of the antidiluvian, pre-flood biblical period i.e. heretical behaviour (the type wot gets you drownded by Mr/Mrs God), which has perhaps been taken up again in modern times?
If you're referring to the period during which christ lived as 'antediluvian', then that's a very bad choice of word as the word already directly relates to a completely different part of the bible. I really can't tell if you are!
That's a very picky bit, what I'm saying is that the little phrase there requires a bit of thought but is then a letdown because it turns out to be more flawed than first expected. The rest of it is excellent.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katyppfan
When Pete plays it is 100% live , your music if that's what you call it doesn't sound so good either? so you can't really critercize can you ?
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