Apparently we have different definitions of a "million dollar word", but I'm not going to argue colloquialistic symantics. Instead, I'll rephrase it... the piece comes off as gaudy, overblown... emm... overambitious? Excessive? Yes, I think "excessive" fits this one.
Metaphors, similes and imagery are not the ends of literary devices or rhetortical concepts. What I see it overstuffed with is allegorical fluff (and the admitted imagery). This also fits into the formerly mentioned excess. And again, I don't think that you need all of that - in fact I think it hinders, rather than facilitates your point.
In summary: You are being too "arty" for your own good.
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