There`s nothing selfish about asking because there is no guarantee that the other person would say yes to it.
I`d look at it like this , what would not asking gain?
If I was facing losing someone then I wouldn`t really have much to lose by suggesting what you say.
At least that way i`d have a straight answer & be able to move on with my life.
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Urb's RYM Stuff
Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.
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