I have barfights down to a science so I will fill you in on my defence mechanism. I discovered a long time ago that I really dislike being punched in the face so I adapted this easy mode of defence, when I see someone balling up their fist and getting ready to do the MAN DANCE I simply extend my pointer finger in the erect position. When I see the fist hurtling toward me I simply move aside and direct my peter pointer projectile directly into their eye which immediately forces both eyes closed, I then use this opportunity to run as I have found that I can run faster scared than most people can angry.
My brother is a mouthy bastard at bars and I have been forced to utilize this numerous times in his defence, I put him through a Karate Kid style training regiment for this technique because I can't be driving across town just to poke someone in the eye for him. My fingers are lethal weapons and have a 100% success ratio due to the fact that I am also fast, I believe I have used this tactic over 30 times.
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