10 reasons why *** marriages will ruin society :giggle:
* Being *** is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
* *** marriage will encourage people to be ***, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
* Legalizing *** marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
* Straight marriage has been around long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
* Straight marriage will be less meaningful if *** marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
* Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. *** couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
* Obviously *** parents will raise *** children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
* *** marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
* Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
* *** marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
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“Think of what a paradise this world would be if men were kind and wise.” - Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle.
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