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Old 08-10-2006, 09:41 PM   #2 (permalink)
Raine
Full-Time Hellion
 
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: PA
Posts: 1,519
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Quote:
Originally Posted by explosions-in-my-pants
Such a lie,
that everyone but you can see.
You were the boy for me,
and I,
won't get over you.
Trapped so deep, beneath you feet.

What's ya going to do?
Lost control because of you.
Losing all sense of time..so caught up in the thoughts.

I was such a fool for you,
there's no more room for me.
Unhealthy addiction,
no more for me.

It was some time ago
when you left me alone;
I got caught in so deep,
you beat my heart with your fist.

You know there is no use for you,
yet I can't
I can't...
I won't get over you,
cause I love...
Cause I can't
cause fell so deep.
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not sure if I want a course and if I do, I don't what it should be.. help me. thank you.
You more or less touch on three different elements of a relationship that a girl wishes existed, but you have nothing to tie them altogether.
There doesn't seem to be much holding your last stanza together. And the last line doesn't seem well thought out
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