Quote:
|
Originally Posted by ZeppelinAir
Blade Of Red
Across a pond,
A stone of death,
A place where they may rest,
Theirs a man without a face,
He travels without rest,
His only purpose…
To wake the nest,
Dead without rest,
Ruler of the nest,
Blade of red,
Is the symbol of the dead, 2x
With the bells ring,
Hell will sing,
Songs in the night,
The Figures in stone,
Watch their own,
He sits upon his throne,
Waiting to take another soul,
Dead without rest,
Ruler of the nest,
Blade of red,
Is the symbol of the dead, 2x
(bell Ringing) Celebrate the king..
|
You first stanza is describing the scene for the dude that's walking. But your second line is a metaphor and we don't know what it's comparing/contrasting this early in the song. We do however know the tone of the song. But still, I think you should do away with it or somehow switch that stanza with the next one.
The line "Blade of Red" should be taken out because nowhere in the song do you mention anybody dying or someone being killed, or someone killing someone else. Assuming that red represents blood, you're implying someone is dying but the rest of the song is about some dude who isn't killing anyone, nor is he being killed. I'll overlook the fact that blade refers to knife and no one was killed with a knife in this song. I think what you were trying to do was find a connection between the guy in the song who is something of an undertaker, taking the souls of others. And if that is the case, you definitely need to find something better than "Blade of red"
And I think "is the symbol of the dead" should be made into an epithet and should taken out of all the stanzas it does appear in and placed after the "the man without a face." And the man without a face should be given a name or title of some sort.
And if it's in red, it's a spelling error
