Music Banter - View Single Post - Hiding Behind the Sofa: Trollheart Revisits Classic Doctor Who

Trollheart · 09-26-2022, 09:30 AM

"Like Trollheart, I feel I have reached the end of my rope!"

Title of episode: “The Rescue”
Title of Serial: The Daleks
Chronology: 2nd serial, 11th episode overall
Part: 7 of 7
Doctor: William Hartnell
Companion(s): Susan Foreman, Ian Chesterton, Barbara Wright
Written by: Terry Nation
Original air date: February 1 1964

I won’t deny I’m relieved to be finally getting to the end of this, and considering this is the one where the Daleks are introduced to the world, this does not bode well for the rest of the series. I mean, I thought once our exterminating friends rolled onto the screen I would be hooked, and the series would start picking up, but, well, that has not been the case. The story, up to now (and I have no reason to assume this final part will change anything) has been dull, slow, plodding, unimaginative and at times downright insulting to my intelligence - Daleks powered by static electricity? Pull the other one mate, it’s got a foot on. Well, what the hell did you expect to be on the end of my leg? Bells? Think you need to see a doctor, pal. Oh, and, word to the wise? Not this one. He doesn’t seem to know his arse from a hole in the ground, or to put it in the parlance of the series, he doesn’t know a sonic screwdriver from Sonic the Hedgehog. Yes, I know the little blue guy has not been designed yet: I’m just trying to stretch out the time and avoid plunging back into the world of mediocrity which formed what the BBC thought was great science fiction television. Oh well, no getting away from it forever. Here we go!

Oh right, yeah. A literal cliffhanger last week, as the moany Thall who wants to go home makes a typical effort at jumping, misses and hangs there on a rope secured to, well, Ian, who now starts to go over the edge. Know how you feel, son! I’m just holding on by my fingernails too! Strangely enough, nobody seems to think of sorting the situation by the simple expedient of cutting the - oh! Look at that! Moany Thall proves himself a man in the end, whipping out his knife and doing the decent thing. As he plunges to his death, Wile E. Coyote-like, with a last final moan and a cry of “I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD HAVE GONE HOMMMMMMMEEE! Ian is saved. Well, you can’t have everything I guess.

"WOULD YOU LIKE TO LEARN A-BOUT OUR LOY-AL-TY PRO-GRAMME? SCAN WITH YOUR DE-VICE TO CON-TIN-UE!"

Back with the Daleks, we get the first mention of their planet’s name, as Control calls is Skaro, which I think in Dalek language means "shit hole", but I could be wrong. Yeah I am: looking at my Dalek-English dictionary I see I forgot to take the accented second syllable into account: a common mistake. Skaro, then, translates as "irradiated shit hole". Okay. The Daleks want to get out of the city and roll across the planet, luxuriating in the lovely radiation to the stirring tones of Matt Munro singing “Born Free” or something, and anyone who doesn’t like it can stick it up their exterminating probe, apparently. This very definitely includes the Doctor, and you’d have to wonder how he ever becomes their most implacable enemy. He now tells the Daleks he has a ship that can take them off the planet, and when they sneer that his race is not evolved enough to create such a machine, he tells them that they have a part of it here.

“WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?” asks the Dalek.
“A metal rod with metal on either end,” replies the Doctor helpfully.
“OH YES!” responds the Dalek sarcastically, or maybe not. “YOU DO NOT FOR-GET A THING LIKE THAT! LET ME GO CHECK THE LOST AND FOUND DE-PART-MENT!”

Meanwhile Hard-On decides now is the time to attack. They may be farmers, he says, but have they forgotten how to fight? The request of one unnamed Thall for a refresher course, preferably in the six to eight months range, goes unheeded. As the Doctor tries to reason with the Daleks, one says “NOT-THING CAN STOP THE DA-LEKS! EX-CEPT A GEN-TLE SLOPE OR STAIR-CASE. THAT WILL BUG-GER US UP A TREAT. BUT YOU DID’N’T HEAR THAT FROM ME. THE OTH-ERS WILL BE SO MAD! WHY DID I SAY THAT? I AL-WAYS OP-EN MY SPEECH SYN-THES-ISER BE-FORE I EN-GAGE MY POS--I-TRON-IC MAT-RIX! IT’S A REAL PROB-LEM!”

"Doctor, I feel I have to disagree with you when you try to convince me that the BBC are an equal opportunities employer!"

More running around in Santa’s grotto for the Thalls, who have now linked up with Ian and his merry band, none of which, for some reason, can be seen by the Daleks even though they’re LITERALLY STANDING BEHIND THEM. I mean, these things swivel as they go: how can they fail to see a bunch of humanoids standing a few feet behind them? Maybe they’re distracted by the Dalek counting down to their game of Hide-and-Seek: THIR-TY ONE, THIR-TY, TWEN-TY NINE…

It’s good to see our heroes have access to the very latest and most sophisticated weapons available. Um, rocks. Yeah. And they stop a Dalek by, uh, jumping on it and hugging it. STOP IT! STOP IT! EM-OT-ION IS NOT PER-MIT-TED! AW, DO YOU REA-LLY FIND ME CUTE? Jesus Christ! When the power that Ian and his band have knocked out kicks in - as in, when the power stops flowing - and the Daleks start falling over, one actually cries! WAH-HAH! Priceless! Never heard that before. So the Daleks are defeated due to a power cut and then being pushed over. Incredible. How did they ever rise to become Galactic Enemy Number One?

And that’s it. A bit of pontificating from a very smug Doctor who let’s be honest did very little this episode, as in most so far, a bit of sellotape and some chewing gum and we’re off on another adventure.

Comments

Well it certainly lived up to its billing, didn’t it? The final confrontation between the most evil and heartless race in the known universe and humans and Thalls ends with the Daleks being something of a pushover. Literally. I laugh in your general direction, Mr. Nation. That was beyond terrible. After fooling us into thinking this was building up to something, it just fizzles out and we’re left with useless crying Daleks. God almighty. Throughout the entire serial there’s been about as much action as a good episode of Murder, She Wrote, and it’s made a good deal less sense, a claim I do not make lightly. I would say let’s hope for better, but when you’ve had the apex predator, the star turn of the show and they’ve proved to be nothing much, what is there left to look forward to? I can’t help but think the next serial is going to be even worse, and that it’s basically downhill from here for a while, till we at least get some half-decent stories going.

I hesitate to castigate Nation over the serial, but I can’t honestly say it was all that much better than the first. In some ways, it was actually worse. Getting to see the Daleks was good, though not quite the treat I had expected - I know they were a work in progress at this point - but the story itself was about as laughable as something that’s very laughable. If it hadn’t been for the Daleks themselves capturing the public imagination, this could have been the end of Doctor Who.

Maybe we would have all been better off if it had been.

Diagnosing the Doctor

Basically all he does this episode, so far as I can see, is moan at the Daleks that they’re mean, and try to change minds which are about as set in stone as a certain sword for a certain king by a certain wizard. He displays none of the canny alien/mechanical knowledge he will later be famous for, he does nothing to help - in fact, till rescued he’s literally chained to the wall like some oddly-shaped shelf - and then at the end he goes all lapel-holding, nose-in-the-air, I-saved-the-day. To quote the prophet Isiah in Deuteronomy 4:22 - fuck that guy.

Doctor: First (William Hartnell) - S01E11 - Minus 85/100

Charting the Companions

Susan, like her bloody useless grandfather, spends the episode chained to the wall, which might be kinky if she wasn’t still at school (stop that!) and then tries on a Thall coat and falls over for some reason, to the merriment and laughter of nobody. Barbara follows Ian and has a semi-romantic failure to launch with Ganatus, leaving him standing outside the TARDIS as she does a female Trevor Howard, without the wave from the window. Because, well, there are none. Ian is action man, but I’m getting tired of him and hope he gets eaten by an alien stomach monster in the next serial.

Drat! I’ve looked ahead, and it doesn’t happen. Maybe next time.

Susan: Minus 45/100
Ian: 95/100
Barbara: Minus 20/100

09-26-2022, 09:30 AM	#6 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,996	*"Like Trollheart, I feel I have reached the end of my rope!"* Title of episode: “The Rescue” Title of Serial: The Daleks Chronology: 2nd serial, 11th episode overall Part: 7 of 7 Doctor: William Hartnell Companion(s): Susan Foreman, Ian Chesterton, Barbara Wright Written by: Terry Nation Original air date: February 1 1964 I won’t deny I’m relieved to be finally getting to the end of this, and considering this is the one where the Daleks are introduced to the world, this does not bode well for the rest of the series. I mean, I thought once our exterminating friends rolled onto the screen I would be hooked, and the series would start picking up, but, well, that has not been the case. The story, up to now (and I have no reason to assume this final part will change anything) has been dull, slow, plodding, unimaginative and at times downright insulting to my intelligence - Daleks powered by static electricity? Pull the other one mate, it’s got a foot on. Well, what the hell did you expect to be on the end of my leg? Bells? Think you need to see a doctor, pal. Oh, and, word to the wise? Not this one. He doesn’t seem to know his arse from a hole in the ground, or to put it in the parlance of the series, he doesn’t know a sonic screwdriver from Sonic the Hedgehog. Yes, I know the little blue guy has not been designed yet: I’m just trying to stretch out the time and avoid plunging back into the world of mediocrity which formed what the BBC thought was great science fiction television. Oh well, no getting away from it forever. Here we go! Oh right, yeah. A literal cliffhanger last week, as the moany Thall who wants to go home makes a typical effort at jumping, misses and hangs there on a rope secured to, well, Ian, who now starts to go over the edge. Know how you feel, son! I’m just holding on by my fingernails too! Strangely enough, nobody seems to think of sorting the situation by the simple expedient of cutting the - oh! Look at that! Moany Thall proves himself a man in the end, whipping out his knife and doing the decent thing. As he plunges to his death, Wile E. Coyote-like, with a last final moan and a cry of “I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD HAVE GONE HOMMMMMMMEEE! Ian is saved. Well, you can’t have everything I guess. *"WOULD YOU LIKE TO LEARN A-BOUT OUR LOY-AL-TY PRO-GRAMME? SCAN WITH YOUR DE-VICE TO CON-TIN-UE!"* Back with the Daleks, we get the first mention of their planet’s name, as Control calls is Skaro, which I think in Dalek language means "shit hole", but I could be wrong. Yeah I am: looking at my Dalek-English dictionary I see I forgot to take the accented second syllable into account: a common mistake. Skaro, then, translates as "irradiated shit hole". Okay. The Daleks want to get out of the city and roll across the planet, luxuriating in the lovely radiation to the stirring tones of Matt Munro singing “Born Free” or something, and anyone who doesn’t like it can stick it up their exterminating probe, apparently. This very definitely includes the Doctor, and you’d have to wonder how he ever becomes their most implacable enemy. He now tells the Daleks he has a ship that can take them off the planet, and when they sneer that his race is not evolved enough to create such a machine, he tells them that they have a part of it here. “WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?” asks the Dalek. “A metal rod with metal on either end,” replies the Doctor helpfully. “OH YES!” responds the Dalek sarcastically, or maybe not. “YOU DO NOT FOR-GET A THING LIKE THAT! LET ME GO CHECK THE LOST AND FOUND DE-PART-MENT!” Meanwhile Hard-On decides now is the time to attack. They may be farmers, he says, but have they forgotten how to fight? The request of one unnamed Thall for a refresher course, preferably in the six to eight months range, goes unheeded. As the Doctor tries to reason with the Daleks, one says “NOT-THING CAN STOP THE DA-LEKS! EX-CEPT A GEN-TLE SLOPE OR STAIR-CASE. THAT WILL BUG-GER US UP A TREAT. BUT YOU DID’N’T HEAR THAT FROM ME. THE OTH-ERS WILL BE SO MAD! WHY DID I SAY THAT? I AL-WAYS OP-EN MY SPEECH SYN-THES-ISER BE-FORE I EN-GAGE MY POS--I-TRON-IC MAT-RIX! IT’S A REAL PROB-LEM!” "Doctor, I feel I have to disagree with you when you try to convince me that the BBC are an equal opportunities employer!" More running around in Santa’s grotto for the Thalls, who have now linked up with Ian and his merry band, none of which, for some reason, can be seen by the Daleks even though they’re LITERALLY STANDING BEHIND THEM. I mean, these things swivel as they go: how can they fail to see a bunch of humanoids standing a few feet behind them? Maybe they’re distracted by the Dalek counting down to their game of Hide-and-Seek: THIR-TY ONE, THIR-TY, TWEN-TY NINE… It’s good to see our heroes have access to the very latest and most sophisticated weapons available. Um, rocks. Yeah. And they stop a Dalek by, uh, jumping on it and hugging it. STOP IT! STOP IT! EM-OT-ION IS NOT PER-MIT-TED! AW, DO YOU REA-LLY FIND ME CUTE? Jesus Christ! When the power that Ian and his band have knocked out kicks in - as in, when the power stops flowing - and the Daleks start falling over, one actually cries! WAH-HAH! Priceless! Never heard that before. So the Daleks are defeated due to a power cut and then being pushed over. Incredible. How did they ever rise to become Galactic Enemy Number One? And that’s it. A bit of pontificating from a very smug Doctor who let’s be honest did very little this episode, as in most so far, a bit of sellotape and some chewing gum and we’re off on another adventure. Comments Well it certainly lived up to its billing, didn’t it? The final confrontation between the most evil and heartless race in the known universe and humans and Thalls ends with the Daleks being something of a pushover. Literally. I laugh in your general direction, Mr. Nation. That was beyond terrible. After fooling us into thinking this was building up to something, it just fizzles out and we’re left with useless crying Daleks. God almighty. Throughout the entire serial there’s been about as much action as a good episode of Murder, She Wrote, and it’s made a good deal less sense, a claim I do not make lightly. I would say let’s hope for better, but when you’ve had the apex predator, the star turn of the show and they’ve proved to be nothing much, what is there left to look forward to? I can’t help but think the next serial is going to be even worse, and that it’s basically downhill from here for a while, till we at least get some half-decent stories going. I hesitate to castigate Nation over the serial, but I can’t honestly say it was all that much better than the first. In some ways, it was actually worse. Getting to see the Daleks was good, though not quite the treat I had expected - I know they were a work in progress at this point - but the story itself was about as laughable as something that’s very laughable. If it hadn’t been for the Daleks themselves capturing the public imagination, this could have been the end of Doctor Who. Maybe we would have all been better off if it had been. Diagnosing the Doctor Basically all he does this episode, so far as I can see, is moan at the Daleks that they’re mean, and try to change minds which are about as set in stone as a certain sword for a certain king by a certain wizard. He displays none of the canny alien/mechanical knowledge he will later be famous for, he does nothing to help - in fact, till rescued he’s literally chained to the wall like some oddly-shaped shelf - and then at the end he goes all lapel-holding, nose-in-the-air, I-saved-the-day. To quote the prophet Isiah in Deuteronomy 4:22 - fuck that guy. Doctor: First (William Hartnell) - S01E11 - Minus 85/100 Charting the Companions Susan, like her bloody useless grandfather, spends the episode chained to the wall, which might be kinky if she wasn’t still at school (stop that!) and then tries on a Thall coat and falls over for some reason, to the merriment and laughter of nobody. Barbara follows Ian and has a semi-romantic failure to launch with Ganatus, leaving him standing outside the TARDIS as she does a female Trevor Howard, without the wave from the window. Because, well, there are none. Ian is action man, but I’m getting tired of him and hope he gets eaten by an alien stomach monster in the next serial. Drat! I’ve looked ahead, and it doesn’t happen. Maybe next time. Susan: Minus 45/100 Ian: 95/100 Barbara: Minus 20/100 __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018