Quote:
Originally Posted by jwb
I usually get 2 basic kinds of scrutiny if I tell people I'm bi:
1) so you're gay and just don't wanna admit it so you say you're bi.
2) you're faking it for attention
The 1st one is why I often don't tell a girl I'm talking to that I'm bi. They often have weird hang ups about it where either they think it's gross or they don't see it as manly or they're just insecure about a realm they can't compete with.
But I get it from random people too. It doesn't make sense to me. If I was gonna be a closet gay guy I would just pretend to be straight. Why would I take on the stigmas of being bi? It doesn't win you any favor in a homophobe's eyes that you also like women.
The 2nd one I sorta get but tbh it doesn't make sense with me either. Being bi clashes with my general personality. If I were trying for an image that's not the route I'd go. Also it might sound sexist but I think it's much more common for women to casually flirt with/fake being bi for attention from men. It doesn't really work the other way around.
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This speaks to the larger issue of bi erasure within mainstream culture as well as queer circles. It's not only the straights that think bi people just haven't made up their mind, or are keeping one foot in the hetero world as they ease into queerdom.
Bisexuality as an identity has also made a recent shift from bi = I like men and women to bi = I am attracted to my own gender as well as genders that are not mine.