Well of course there's no such thing as a gay gene. I do think it likely that biology influences the likelyhood that someone will turn out gay though, just in a complex way. I guess that's what ribbons means?
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Originally Posted by adidasss
But why would you say it was an unpleasant task if you knew everyone around you would be cool about it? Sounds like you had some reservations. You say "at least after high school" meaning that during high school you didn't think you had a very positive and supporting environment? Is it time lost then if you were trying to save yourself the grief of possible bullying?
Also, coming out is one thing, but it wouldn't prevent you from exploring your sexuality (dating, having sex). I get that you weren't doing that either until after 20? Is that what you mean by time lost? If the above is correct, why wouldn't you be doing that if you were totally fine with everything?
It's just my opinion of course, but it seems to me your closet was like any other, you had some issues to deal with before you could come out of it and live your life fully.
But anyway, if you feel like you missed something, no one can change that. It's not a very long time "to miss". Some people spend most of their lives in the closet so...
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It's more complex than that, I can't explain it well. I wasn't afraid of people knowing I was gay, it was having to tell them, I honestly don't know why that was such a problem except that it just feels unbearably awkward to me to have one of those 'I need to tell you something' moments, whatever it is about. (weirdly enough I don't mind casually oversharing, as you might have noticed
) There wasn't fear of bullying or homophobia in school either, just the knowledge that I'd be even more of a misfit and the subject of the latest gossip. Why I didn't explore my sexuality is a whole other story featuring a lot of social inhibitions. You're right that that's my main regret though