Marie Monday

So this is inevitably turning into me fangirling by myself in my niche corner, I expected as much. I'll see how long it takes before I start to feel too much like K Addict, but now I just want to talk about MB's greatest gift to me:



THE FRUMPIES - FRUMPIE ONE PIECE!!!

This record is a marvel. It pretends it’s an abrasive, messy piece of trash, but of course it's actually just a gloriously catchy bubblegum punk record seasoned with extra screaming, and sounding like it was recorded on a potato. At its best it sounds like feral cats partying in a dumpster. If Bikini Kill’s the First Two Records is the genre’s muscle-flexing, nut-kicking manifesto, this is it’s fun, chill, sloppy little sister who doesn’t care and just wants to go skateboarding. I won’t go through it song by song because it features 24 of them (and still manages to be under 45 minutes) so I’ll divide it into three uneven parts.

It immediately starts off great, with one of the grrrls shouting unintelligible things over a two-chord riff; the only lyrics I think I can make out are ‘I said I wanna **** you’. 10/10. This greatness is followed by the magnificent I Just Wanna Puke on the Stereo. The lyrics continue to be mostly unintelligible. The instruments come in one-by-one for maximum impact and combine into the most deliciously ugly, thick, lo-fi riff. That sound, combined with the hoarse, high-pitched wailing and screaming is what makes this album magical.

Things go on like this for a few songs, except that the riffs are sometimes just single notes instead of fuzzy chords (usually this is compensated for by louder screaming) until we get to the second true masterpiece, which is Weird Machine. It starts off with a guitar solo (!) and features the greatest screaming of the record. In a genius move, this is followed by the ear-stroking Intertube Tomorrow; it's like sliding into a bubble bath. The screaming becomes cat-like on She’s a Real Cutie Pie, which is like Flipper’s Sex Bomb, but gayer and (therefore) better. The next masterpiece, the temper tantrum Safety First, of which I can’t understand a word, is the sonic equivalent of my period cramps. Then we get a bunch of songs which are an alternation of lazy, mellow interludes (one of which is called Weary Ingenues and Snotty Brats, they're mostly a bit boring tbh) and the incredible bops that are Duvet Ta, Tommy Slich, and Planet What.

The last batch of songs is great too: the weird high-pitched guitar sound (is that even a guitar?) of **** Yr Frumpies, the especially catchy riff and lovely combined voices of Eunuch Nights (another ‘guitar solo’!), and the record’s final masterpiece, Wrong Way Round, which features the greatest moment of the entire album: all the grrrls screaming in unison followed by the ultimate sloppy riff. Riot grrrl has never been this fun before, or since.



Choice tracks:

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