Originally Posted by Lucem Ferre

I just think that perhaps you're trying too hard which genuinely is the reason why you don't get it. You're feeding way too much into your own ego and needing to feel superior to hide from your own insecurities. Going back to the idea that you care more about a social status to retain a false sense of control over your life, rather than perusing the activities that you truly enjoy.

An example is when Batlord gets apologetic or self deprecating over his enjoyment of groups like the Kotton Mouth Kings. He keeps trying to justify an enjoyment of something to appease a cultural perspective to retain his status rather than unapologetically enjoying who he is through the acceptance of the insignificance of life.