Tfw you experienced ego death 3 weeks ago while on acid (no more acid for me) and you now feel like an entirely different person, and you don't know if these effects are permanent or not but you're pretty sure you purged at least a few layers of subconscious grime and horrors, and something in you died that will not be coming back, and this is all well and good but it has left you feeling deeply uncomfortable with the shell you inhabit now that you're no longer protected by those many layers of false beliefs and protective+performative false personas which are now rapidly rotting away. All you're left with is the memories of the awful things which led you to develop those beliefs and behaviors & defense mechanisms in the first place.
|