Quote:
Originally Posted by OccultHawk
I rape Frownlad.
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A beam of banshee light falls upon Frownlad at a certain angle, giving him an overwhelming aura of sexiness. Instantly erect and swept up in a wave of passion, you rip off your pants as you spring towards the goblin. Catching him in a tackle, the two of you tumble down the path marked "TREASURE!!!". As you both roll to the bottom of the passageway, and out of the banshee light, Venus and Mars yield their hands from your spirit, and the passion of the moment is lost. Now, Frownlad is just any other middle aged goblin with a sagging chest and a baseball cap to cover his thinning hair.
The room fills with soft and spooky banshee light as Banshee Jo, Jimmy Four Claws, and the Mind Worm enter behind you.
Pushing you off of him, Frownlad stands and dusts himself off. "Okay, what the fu
ck is your problem?" he asks, retracting his goblin claws and preparing to make pepperoni out of your erection.
Springing to your feet, you slowly back away. You reach for your weapon, but unfortunately, your whip is still lashed to your pants, which you so hastily cast off by the entrance. "I'm sorry! I don't know what came over me. It's just, sometimes, when I get aroused, I get this weird feeling, like a pressure behind my eyes, and then I just sort of... black out. And when I wake up, my dick is inside of a goblin, or a chimera, or even a tree hollow."
"Wow. Sounds like you're possessed," says Banshee Jo. "You've definitely got the symptoms. Inappropriate boners. Irrational behavior. A stupid name."
"Possessed? What do you mean?"
"I mean, there might be a ghost or a demon hitching a ride in your body. Specifically, your dick."
"A ghost? In my dick?"
"It's more common than you think."
"Well... how do I get it out?"
Banshee Jo shrugs. "Go pay a visit to an exorcist? You should be able to find one in most large temples, I think. It's either that, or paying out the ass for a few sessions with ye olde therapist, and learning to make your possession work for you, or whatever."
"She's right," adds the Mind Worm. "I didn't notice it before, but now, I'm sensing a strange energy coming from your member. Perhaps if I try to draw it out..."
A menacing laugh echoes throughout the cavern. You quickly realize that the sound is emanating from your genitals. "Ha ha ha!" bellows your penis. "So, you finally figured out that I set up shop in here? And it only took you, like, what, a million years? God, you suck."
"Hey!" you cry. "Shut up, dick ghost. That's not fair. I had amnesia. I was confused."
"I know," replies your penis. "Why do you think I chose you? I saw you in that field, just laying there all innocent and blank minded, and I just couldn't help myself!"
"
Lying there," you correct. "And f
uck you! Go haunt someone else!"
"I'm
pretty sure it's
laying. Anyway, never! Once I pick a host, I don't roll out until I've destroyed everything that they love! I mean, what's even the point of stealing a ride if you don't crash it at the end?''
"Oh, come on! Can't we talk about this?"
"Well, you know, maybe if you ask me really,
really nicely to stop..."
"Please stop? Pretty please?"
"... it'll just get me off even more the next time I f
uck you over! Ha ha ha! Every time you feel lust, even for just a second, I'll be there, waiting to take over. And guess what? Next time,
you're gonna be a catcher! Ha ha ha!"
And with that, your genitals fall silent. Now, the only sound is that of Jimmy Four Claws laughing.
"Shut up, Jimmy," you mutter, as you trudge back up the passageway to retrieve your pants. When you return, your Monstourage has penetrated deeply ahead into the chamber. You catch up to them, and find them staring at a large treasure chest ahead. Above it is a sign reading 'GOOD S
HIT'. A fair ways behind it is a dank tunnel leading further into the cavern.
You have lost 1 health and 1 energy from your attempted felony sexual assault and subsequent tumble.
What do you do?
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Proudly
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Title: Goblin Knobber
Health: 14
Energy: 13
Inventory: Whip, Headband
Skills: Bull****, Monster Mash, Get In Here
Afflictions: Possessed Penis
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Monstourage
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Mind Worm (Disgusted)
Frownlad the Goblin (Disheveled)
Jimmy Four Claws (Hungry)
Banshee Jo (Spooky)