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Old 05-12-2018, 02:55 PM   #688 (permalink)
Trollheart
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Working through Motor Girl (page 16 I think) but just wanted to let you know that you're doing, whether you're aware of it or not, assuming it's not intentional, something Mondo and myself tend to do, which is mixing tenses. In the scene where Geraldine meets the samurai, it goes from "I say this to him" to "then he said this to me", sort of thing. Bit confusing. I mean, within a paragraph you're changing tenses half a dozen times. Just thought you should know, in case you hadn't noticed it. Didn't happen in the other stories.

If it's intentional, then shut my mouth, but I don't see what purpose it would serve.
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