incesticide

My first love, is my current boyfriend. We met a while back through some friends and met up with eachother at a softball game. We talked to eachother on the phone for hours day and night. I guess we both just really grew on eachother and before we knew it, he was over my house. We hung out for a bit and then walked to the park up my street. We layed in the grass and talked for hours and then he finally kissed me. I got that, butterflys in my stomach, kind of feeling. I swear after that moment in my life, I was in love with him. Not the fact that he was my first kiss with someone EVER, just the fact that he apprecieates me for who I am. My whole life I've had to deal with being overweight, and I was always the who got left out, or the who was just the funny fat one. Now that I've grown up, It makes me happy to have someone who cares so much. Me and him have been though lots of things, for the good and bad. We've been together for almost 8 months now, a very happy 8 months.
In a way, he's been very influential to me. Back in June and July last year, I was smoking pot. Not good yanno. Doing that made me feel like a bad person, and I just never was in a good mood. I did it because I didnt' want to be the funny fat anymore, I wanted to be the cool one who does . Then I put thoughts in my head, ones that shouldnt be there and I would have dreams of my parents beating me which really got to my head and I believed that they actually were. I also had a cutting problem last year too. Ever since Dave, my boyfriend, had entered my life he's kind of been the one there to say hey, don't do that, while my frients just sat and watched. They just watched me drive my life down the drain. Dave showed that he cared about me, he showed that I had meaning to him. That's what I love about him the most, he's here to look out for me.
Even though that was more of a "my last year in a nutshell" story, I thought it was nice to share.

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