Quote:
Originally Posted by Ol’ Qwerty Bastard
try to **** the bird
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Though you could use your disc to fight the bird from afar, possibly saving Ori, you feel a rush of sexual energy, and decide to throw your trousers and weapons back to the ground and rush the monster. By the time you reach it, it has already seriously injured Ori.
Grappling with the bird, you sustain myriad pecks and talon swipes. The monster screeches as you overpower it, and stand poised to slay it. The terrible bird is at your mercy, and you can tell by the fear in it's eyes that it knows it. However, rather than kill it, your growing sexual energy suddenly surges into an irresistible wave, and you begin to make out with the bird.
Drawn by the noise of the battle, two people approach. Unsheathing their swords, they step forward to assist you in what they believe is a desperate fight, only to stop when they realize what you're actually doing to the bird. Disgusted, they mutter to each other in a tongue that you don't understand.
You smile nervously. "Hi."
The two people stare down at you in silence. Reaching into the pocket of his formless leather cuirass, the first pulls out some sort of device.
You decide to be polite to the two strangers. "There's room for two more, if you want to hop in," you say.
Now free from your grasp, the bird leaps up and pecks at your face. Not long after, the first stranger throws the device at you.
The world becomes a bright and painful flare, eventually dying down into an utterly black void.
Waking from your dreamless sleep some time later, you find yourself locked in a large cage on wheels connected to the back of a wagon, being hauled by a team of creatures that look like a cross between crabs and horses. You're surrounded by ferocious creatures, including the bird. However, instead of tearing you to pieces, the monsters simply eye you wearily. Now that you think about it, you feel pretty tired and apathetic yourself. Rather than shout for help, or try to break free, you simply sit there until the wagon reaches it's destination.
In time, the two strangers lead the wagon to a large clearing in the forest, across which are scattered other wagons. On the side of one, you see a word and a picture painted in bold colors. Though the word is indecipherable, the picture seems to be that of a circus tent.
The wagon stops, and the two strangers crack open the cage, ushering you and the beasts out. A man approaches the two strangers. Still speaking in their strange tongue, they point out all of the monsters as they talk to him. When their eyes fall upon you, the look of disgust returns to their faces as they speak. After listening to what they have to say about you, the man laughs, and claps his hands.
For a moment, you are in a strange sort of world filled with marble statues where everything is weightless. You have no idea where you are, but it feels good, and you want to stay.
However, what seems like only a second later, you wake up in yet another cage. This one is smaller, and seems to be a small room of wooden construct, with metal bars at the front. You are the only creature inside of it. Looking through the bars, you can see that the monsters have been restrained in their own cages as well.
You look around. Other than the metal bars, and the dark knots in the wooden planks surrounding you, it is utterly featureless. You rub your aching head. "Bastards could've at least given me a bed..." you mutter, as you sit down. On the up side, you seem to be free from the apathy that afflicted you earlier.
Your fight with the bird, and the fatigue you suffered from the stranger's device, have dropped your health and energy by 4 points each.
The bombardment of sexual urges that you earlier experienced have confirmed that you have a thing for monsters.
*Unlocked skill: Monster Mash*
From now on, when you encounter a monster of high intelligence that shares a common language with you, attempts to woo them will be more successful than usual. Trying to randomly screw dumb wild beasts, however, is just going to result in you getting scratched to hell, and/or arrested.
Your pants have been returned, but your weapons are gone.
What do you do now?
*Hint* Maybe you should get some rest.
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???
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Title: Circus Freak
Health: 10
Energy: 8
Inventory: -
Skills: Bulls
hit, Monster Mash