Quote:
Originally Posted by rubber soul
I didn't realize part four was like forty words of something 
I see you ragged on Dickens a little on this part. I couldn't find any nits here, but you may want to put on some meat as you segue into the Spawning Day part. You have the father rushing a bit at the end.
Am I to assume there is a zoo for humans? |
Yeah, well the Dickens thing was just to give the idea that humans could once (and maybe still can) write, and that they once had great things to say and high ideals, then the juxtaposition of that and the instructions for setting up HDMI TV kind of offsets that in a dark humour kind of way.
How am I rushing it? I thought the father listened to the kid, made his decision (having picked Trangor up from school on his Spawning Day and wanting to make it a good day) and considering that he might choose a career protecting endangered humans, and also to show how unreliable they are as pets, thought heading over to check them out might set the kid straight. Not really sure how much more I could have/should have padded it out, and it was already a little bloated at that stage.
It's not a zoo for humans. People don't come to stare at them and feed them. Nobody cares in the least about humans (hence the "human rights" thing) - it's more like a reservation I guess. The cramaxians want to preserve the original inhabitants of the planet and so have made a conservation effort to ensure they don't die out, but it's sort of out of their hands - I mean claws. You can assume the humans will eventually just waste away in captivity, kill each other or break out and try to take on their "captors", which will not end well. Either way, it's a new world order.
Glad you enjoyed it anyway. I'll have the new one up soon as I can. Working on about ten more at the moment.