Quote:
Originally Posted by rubber soul
That was a good critique, thanks.
I can explain the glass eye. The challenge always has a prompt. In this case, you had to include a glass eye somewhere in your story. That's why Gluberg has a glass eye, though I guess I could have had Green throw an explosive glass eye at him.
I do have a habit of repeating words. When I was trying to get a chapter critiqued, a guy mentioned that I used 'just' something like 23 times. Now, I panic every time I use that word somewhere.
Okay, I'm ready. I'm sure I'll find something. I usually concentrate mostly on grammar (and yes, I know about English vs. American spelling. If I'm unsure about a word, I'll check it out before I go kamikaze XD).
Thanks for the critique  |
Ah, I see. I did wonder about the glass eye. Personally (and again, this is just me) I would have thought outside the box, having his superweapon being some sort of malevolent glass eye that can concentrate a beam of focussed energy on ... well, yeah, that's me. Anyhoo, as to repeating words, I assume you own a Thesaurus? If not, there are online ones. I find them really helpful when I want to find an alternative to a word I've already used. Re-reading your stuff is also essential, as I'm sure you're aware; some of the stupidest mistakes have come to light for me just by simply reading over what I've written, and of course it's not good to write as you speak. I mean, I use the word "basically" a lot, or the phrase "in fairness" or "to be fair" but I try not to use them when writing. Glad you were able to take the advice on board.
As to my story, unfortunately Karen felt sick today and the emergency doctor services decided to shut down, so I was prepared for a trip to the hospital, but have sorted it out now I hope. It does mean though that I hadn't the time to write the new story, but I'll try to get some of it done today and hopefully finish it tomorrow (it's nowhere near as long as
Waiting For That Day...) and I'll post it then. Interested to hear your comments (or anyone else's, of course).