Originally Posted by Urban Hatemonger

Music industry nudged awake by news of Coldplay split
Top-selling band split up citing artistic indifferences
by Christopher Miller

Top-selling band Coldplay, whose album X&Y reached number one last year in an extraordinary display of apathy, announced yesterday it was to split. The band cited exhaustion, artistic indifferences and a growing feeling of niceness as the reasons behind the breakup.

Coldplay: Split due to exhaustion and growing feeling of niceness A statement from the band's record company, Parlophone, stated: "Chris [Martin] and the boys have been touring non-stop for almost two years and that has taken its toll physically and mentally. They have also come to realise that no-one actually listens to their albums but just puts them on in the background on very low volume. Out of respect for Texas and The Corrs therefore they have decided to split up and go back to being obnoxious and unemployed."

Reaction to the news has been swift. A music fan from Nottingham, Jon Meakin, 26, told us: "Coldplay? Oh, I quite like them." Rachel Williams, 25, from Cardiff, agreed: "I quite like Coldplay." Her friend Charlotte Davies, also 25, enthused: "They're OK."

Looking back over their Coldplay's career successes, Daniel Holmes, 23, from Bolton, said: "I quite liked their last single. What's it called? The last one, you know. Anyway, that one was good." His brother Ian, 21, was stunned by the news: "They've split up, have they? Oh, right."

Craig Gosling, a music industry analyst, lamented: "This is a band that has sold a great many units in the past few years. They had a universal appeal among people that don't usually buy records or listen to much music and that's a big plus. It's a shame they've decided to call it a day. Bad business decision."