I console myself that even if it can be hell in my mind, and I'd clearly be way better off without all this ****, I still don't know that I would fundamentally change my mental state. When I think about how tepid and... linear so many people I meet come across, I gag at the idea of becoming more like them. They're fine and I can like them and have some kind of meaningful relationship with them under the right circumstances, but I no longer fantasize about being whatever passes for normal. I tried toning myself down years ago for the sake of social integration and was constantly rolling my eyes at just how boring I was becoming. At least I entertain myself if nothing else.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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