All right, first impressions: the voice is that of a living ship, perhaps manned by some dead captain? Ship of the dead? Anyway, very well written as always, and sorry to be pointing out errors but you know that I said I find myself doing this as well. You're slipping tenses here and there, past to present. Just to point it out in case you're not aware.
It sounds quite interesting and I'd like to see where it goes.
If you get a chance, would you have a look at the extracts from my novel and give me your thoughts?
Great job.
TH
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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018
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