ribbons

2016 was a difficult year following on the death of my mother in late 2015. I’ve spent the past year with this terrible hollow feeling, as though I’m on the verge of losing control but can’t allow myself to do so. This Christmas was very depressing for me internally, although everything on the outside appeared to be in order. I can’t even believe I’m writing this here. I came here in ‘09 right on the heels of a divorce and I was shellshocked then and I sort of feel the same way now. I am overly afraid of everything and inwardly very anxious. I’ve built up tremendous walls around myself for the past 7+ years, after having walls put around me by someone else for many years before that. I feel really exhausted.

I’m glad the year is over.

EDIT: Just realized this is supposed to be a positive thread. The bright spots of 2016 were, as always, my daughter and son who are the purest and kindest people I've ever known.