Quote:
Originally Posted by Ki
Person 2: Well **** how am I going to work up the courage to call a doctor and schedule an appointment. I don't like talking on the phone. And how am I going to get to the doctor on time. Hopefully they can see me as well. I'd hate to schedule it then find out they wanted to reschedule it. What are my parents going to think? How am I going to pay for it? well ****, I shouldn't bother I guess.
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To help you understand further, I've been to therapy. Multiple times in fact. And guess what, it never worked. Every single time I saw a therapist, I always felt like I was being judged which prompted me to not be completely open with the therapist.
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First off, I want to tell you: I get it. Maybe not "it" exactly as you experience it, but I get it in my own way. When I first booked an appointment with my psychologist, my friend had to do all the research to find her, find out about their fees, how my insurance worked, had to get me the phone number, then talk me through making an appointment both before and after booking it. "Get help" was just something else that was on my long list of deadlines and to-dos; it was a project I did not have the time or energy to undertake. At its most severe, I was too overwhelmed to even think about starting the process, but as soon as the anxiety subsided, I felt like I didn't have the energy to relive those feelings in front of a professional. It took me 8 or 9 months from the date I first realized I had a problem until the problem itself was so severe I could no longer ignore it.
As for your previous forays into mental health, I can tell you both from personal experience and from years of research that the single greatest predictor of success is the relationship between the client and provider itself. You have to
like the person, and everyone you meet will be different. Unfortunately, it does take some searching to find a person who you like enough to work with, and there's nothing wrong with that.
But I can attest that if you do persevere (maybe not now, but in the future), and you do find someone you like enough to talk to and to learn from, it can really help you take control back from that ice cold, leaden fist of anxiety.